Expectations - instagram post

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✨expectations✨ A lot of people say I have low expectations but to be honest they are just managed. I spent a lot of my time and energy being mad, bitter, frustrated, and upset when my previous higher expectations were not met. @johncmaxwell says "Disappointment exists in the gap between reality and expectation" and when I heard that I was like, yusssssss! Previously when I had high expectations for others, I was constantly disappointed! But here's the kicker - it had nothing to do with them - it all had to do with me and what I expected from them. In order to be happy while simultaneously not changing from a situation that currently makes you mad or frustrated is to manage your expectations. Expect that if your partner has acted one way for the majority of your relationship, they will continue to act that way until THEY decide otherwise. Expect that if your friend always says no to hanging out in a certain environment, that they will say no everytime you ask (until THEY decide otherwise). So what do we do? We look at the reality - we can want what we want, but it is what it is and if you keep crying over what you wanted because of what you are getting you are stressing - not over the situation itself, but over the mismanaged expectation. If, however, you look at the reality and manage expectations based on past trends of similar experiences - you will feel more in control. When we set expectations for others - we base them off of what WE would do. Stop this. They aren't you and you aren't them. When we set expectations for ourselves - we base them off of what others say we SHOULD do. Stop this. Your aren't them and they aren't you. When we can set appropriate expectations for what people can expect FROM US and we stop having rigid expectations for others , then it empowers them (and us!) to make a decision on how to move forward.

A post shared by teri hofford - she/her (@terihofford) on Jul 29, 2020 at 6:36am PDT