Boudoir is quickly becoming more and more popular among the masses and I couldn't be happier about this. You see, boudoir photography has been around for ages, but prior to about 5 years, it was very much focused on gifting photos of your body to your significant other. While I don't necessarily have a problem with this, I do have a problem with the fact that when women started to do it for themselves, they received a lot of push back, being told they were narcissistic, "should cover up", and other various phrases that make me a bit ragey. It drives me nuts, because it's okay for women to be oggled and seen as beautiful by someone else, but as soon as she sees that within herself it is too far? Wtf.
We also know that there are a rising number of boudy photogs all over the world with a variety of different prices, styles, experience etc. but at the end of the day, boudoir photography IS a luxury experience and therefore, a luxury investment and you want to make sure that you are getting everything you want out of your session. While the dollar cost is up to you, I want to talk about the REAL cost of boudoir photography from a client AND boudoir specialist viewpoint and set some expectations as to what will be expected of YOU as a client.
1. TimeI know it sounds silly, but you will need to be ready to invest in taking time for yourself, and as a sister to a mom with three babes, I know that it can be hard for women to make time for themselves. Sessions with us range from 3-5 hours and the reveal another 45 minutes to an hour, and in the grand scheme of things, you may not think that that is a lot of time, but try asking a mom with a toddler to take a 30 second pee break....it ain't happening. So, if you are wanting to do a boudoir session, be prepared to take time for yourself (I promise I won't interrupt your time by tugging on your shirt and telling you when I poop).
2. VulnerabilityThis is one of the hardest things for people to be and we ask for a lot of it during your sessions. We will ask you to tell us your why, get you to talk about your real feels about your body & view of yourself, and we will ask you to literally and figuratively bare yourself to us. In exchange, we will get vulnerable with you. We will tell you OUR struggles, experiences, and let you know that you are not alone. We will also ask you to sit in front of a big screen TV and watch intimate photos of yourself, which can be slightly scary, but we are there with you every step of the way. There are hundreds of women of all sizes, shapes, and backgrounds that come to us with their own stories and we absolutely love that, but the one thing they all have in common is that they are ready to get vulnerable with us.
3.TrustThis is another thing people have a hard time doing. Every time a woman sits down in her consultation, I can see the fear that I might not be able to deliver her expectations (thankfully, I'm a cocky fuck who accepts this challenge). It can be a hard thing trusting someone to help you see yourself the way you want to be seen, and I appreciate every woman that has given me the chance to photograph, chat with, and help them through understanding that while they are beautiful, their looks aren't the best thing about them. Trusting your photographer is probably one of the biggest "taxes" one has to pay when doing a boudoir session, but when you do, you reap the benefits big time!
4. ControlI find that about 50% of my clients are more than happy to let me take the reigns, but the other 50% are fearful about letting go and I find this sometimes relates back to #2 & #3 above. I always let my clients know that I would prefer you to give me everything you've got, because A) you will never see the "bad" photos and B) you are here to get in touch with yourself. Usually after about 20 minutes the 50% that like their control, will loosen up because I am dedicated to helping you get in touch with your bad ass self, but I promise the further you go with it, the more epic your images will be. Also, we are artists before anything else, so the more control you give us the more artistic and emotional your images will be...hold back and you will get duplicated images that have no real emotion behind it. Essentially: give it up, we know what we're doing.
5.NudityI know it sounds a little creepy that a tax you pay to doing a boudoir session is that you have to show your naughty bits, but honestly isn't that why you are here in the first place? Wanting to know what it feels like to get nudie, explore your body in a judgement free zone, and experience the freedom of being a sensual, bad ass woman? Now, not all photographers will ask you to go completely naked, but if you come see me, I will. So this is an expectation I set with all my boudy babes and why I do consultations beforehand. Here we believe that your body is the only vessel you will be provided in this lifetime and it has probably gotten you through a lot of shit, so it deserves some love and pampering too. Also, though it can be daunting, I personally find that most clients are more comfortable completely naked than they are with lingerie.
6.ChangeLastly, the acceptance of change is something that will be necessary when you do a session. What I mean by this, is that you must be ready to accept that you are a bad ass, fearless, confident, and babely woman and stop telling yourself the fucking lies that we all have been known to tell ourselves. If you aren't ready for the possibility of change, then a boudoir session probably isn't for you. We all know that change is scary and it's scary because it essentially is an accumulation of all the above. We always associate with "change" with a negative outcome, questioning our desires and answering with our worst fears. The "what ifs" take over and so we never move beyond our comfort zone...doing a boudoir session WILL require you to change (but I promise it will be one of THE MOST POSITIVE experiences of your life).
So, whether you decide to spend a lot or a little bit of dollars on your boudoir experience, I urge you to find a photographer that will be able to fulfill the other cost requirements: someone who is trustworthy, excited and passionate to help you move forward in your journey to celebrating your size & goddess-like nature, someone who will give you permission to take time for yourself, someone who will gently coax you outside your comfort zone (or push you, haha), and someone who is confident to take control when you are in such a vulnerable situation. It's important that lines of communication are open between you and your photographer and just like dating, not every client will be for every photographer and vice versa. Find someone who gets YOU. And if that person happens to be me, shoot me an email and we will be more than happy to set up a consultation!