Every now and then you meet the people that are just....your people, you know? Well, little did I know when I went to a Boudoir Retreat in San Fransisco that I would meet 2 of my kindred spirits. I have already introduced you to Paige, so today I will be sharing the other bad ass babe with you, but I want to start with our initial in person meeting because it's super cute. So, I had arrived to Denise Birdsong's Modern Love studio for my photoshoot the same day that Stephanie and Paige were also having their sessions done, so I had quickly met Paige while she was in makeup and Stephanie was just wrapping up her session when she walked past me in the waiting area. All I heard was "Omigodiloveyourposingguidehiiiiiiiiii" and with a little hand wave she disappeared. We joke that her fangirling over me was one of the funniest moments we shared together and I know I will definitely never forget it. Throughout the weekend, however, Stephanie, Paige and I just bonded with each other. We had similar sense of humour, we vibed with each others' energy, and we managed to get our poor male model to wear nothing but a hand towel (#handtowelheroes). We were so sad when the weekend came to an end and as soon as we got home we started making plans for our next meet up and before you know it, August was here and we all met at Stephanie's house for a few days. We had such an incredible time hanging out, drinking wine, photographing models and then photographing each other (oh! and they took me to Target, yay!) We laughed until our tums hurt, we cried about our life experiences and we helped build each other up. This is what I love about #communityovercompetition in photography. When you find your people, hang onto them and hold them tight because entrepreneurship is lonely as fuck and you will need some trustworthy peeps in your corner when you need to have a bit of a breakdown. So, for Stephanie's shoot we decided to channel more of a retro vibe and styling, thanks to Dessa Marie Artistry, and while we started in her studio, I wasn't about to leave her gorgeous character home without shooting in it, so we pulled together a few amazing looks for there as well. So, without further adieu, here is Miss Stephanie in all her beauty, glory, and magnificance. I love her sooooo much.
"I had the privilege of meeting Teri at a workshop and was instantly attracted to her fizzy fuzzy bubbly personality. I’ve followed her work and each and every time, I have found myself impressed if not in total awe. Her work is incredibly sexy and raw. She was so much fun to be with that I could see her models not even spending a moment in their heads. By the close of the workshop we had made plans to collaborate further.
It is quite the faux pas as a boudoir photographer to have not put yourself in your clients shoes. Just like my own clients, my fears and my insecurities about my body run deep. My session with Teri wasn’t about fear or insecurity. It felt an awful lot like Teri herself, fizzy fuzzy and bubbly.When I hold the finished product in my hand,I literally can’t even :)I look at these photos and I can hardly believe it is me!
I was there, I remember getting all dolled up, I remember posing but what I don’t remember is any concern about my body. Not a fear about how I looked or most importantly, as a photographer; not a worry about the actual photograph. There wasn’t any time to worry about my body because I was already having too much fun. Teri’s energy and direction easily overrode my insecurities.
Now I get to look at images of myself and see sexy and raw. It isn’t just something reserved for someone else. That feeling, that experience and the pride is now mine as well. And I can’t stop staring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dayum, Teri.
Her Body Was A Means To An End {Las Vegas Diaries} ~ International Boudoir Photographer
One of the best parts of my profession is meeting other boudoir photographers and connecting with them. Miss S of I Am Boudoir came to our Confident Curves workshop in Las Vegas and also did a mini session with me! After her session, she filled me in on why doing a session and why boudoir was so important to her and I knew it was a story that I had to share...
My body was a means to an end. 
Growing up I experienced several instances of sexual assault, both as a child and as a teen. I had grown men fondle me and attempt to assault me. My high school years were ruined when a classmate tried to rape me, yet he was never disciplined. Those instances turned me into an object. As such, I have never really trusted anyone with my body. I always felt like my body was the means to the end. Men just wanted my body to get what THEY wanted in the end. 
I grew to hate my body. The more I gained weight, the safer I felt. No one wants the “fat” girl right? I would go to a car lot to look at cars and no one would approach me. No one held doors for me, no one said hello or acknowledged me walking down the street. I was invisible and society told me I was undesirable at my size. 
I met my husband at 19 years old. He loved me for me and tolerated all my craziness. When we would fight and argue he would fight dirty. Even in the dirtiest of fights and the nastiest of words, he never once mentioned my weight or called me fat. I respected that. It made me feel like he loved me the way I was. We were together for twenty years. In 2011 I had weight loss surgery. I was never comfortable with my body and wanted to make a change. We were having issues in our marriage and sex wasn’t ever on the menu, so hey, if he’s more attracted to me, bonus! I lost approximately 80 pounds and was feeling AMAZING physically! I was thinner than I was in high school and yet, I was more self-conscious than ever. Suddenly I wasn’t invisible anymore and I was getting attention, which made me uncomfortable. I started nit-picking every single pudge here, or crease there. 
It was at this time I discovered by husband of twenty years was cheating on me. And not just cheating on me, but cheating on me with PROSTITUTES. I was embarrassed and disgusted. Was I that gross to make him pay for sex instead of pursuing me? Were that pudge and that crease the reason? I was devastated and turned to my best friend for support, food! Eight months later, I packed up my things while he was at work and I left. I had also gained about 40 pounds back at that point. I realize now that I slowly packed on pounds again as a protection mechanism to keep myself from getting hurt again. 
So where am I today? Today I have gained all 80 pounds back and weigh exactly the same as I did the day I had surgery. I am in a different space now. Yes, I still mindlessly snack, but I don’t feel like I medicate with food anymore. I also embrace my body the way it is. I no longer have this innate desire to chase thinness. I don’t care about my cellulite, or my rolls. My body is mine. It wakes me up every day, it hugs and squeezes my kids, and its my means to MY own end.
Having my own boudoir photos done was a way for me to embrace my body again. It was a way to MAKE me see myself as a sexual being. It was a way for me to feel proud of who I am today and how much I have grown emotionally. My body is not perfect, it never will be, but its MINE and I’m so proud I can look at it today and embrace it just the way it is – all 216 pounds of it.