NSFW (of course)Maybe it's because I shoot quite often, but I sometimes take for granted the power that a session can have in changing a person's life. Miss A was one of the boudoir babes that allowed me to photograph her whilst in Vegas and as a killer photographer herself, I knew she was going to rock it. Between her strawberry pink hair, gorgeous tattoos, and sassy personality I knew she would deliver. It was after the fact, however, that I realized just how much our short session affected her. Miss A gave me full permission to share her testimonial with you because it is extremely inspirational:"Something in me totally changed. I hate to sound cliche like every other person who posts how seeing photos changed them, but they have. I literally don't think I have ever thought I looked sexy. Every time in my life that I've ever had sex all I could think is about how I must look bad in that position, or how he must be looking at my saggy boobs, the thought made it very hard for me to truly enjoy sex. I even thought it was nasty to actually orgasm. So I got home from Vegas, watched the video {that I had made of the Vegas trip} and then went to dinner. After coming back I had sex, and not just regular sex, but the best freaking sex of my life. For the first time in my life I was not worried about what was going on around me and I just enjoyed the moment. I enjoyed everything about the moment. This said...I am so happy that I was finally able to let me mind free from the negative thoughts and just enjoy the love of my life. XOXO thanks."
Wow. If that isn't powerful, I don't know what is!! Sex is one of those things that women are supposed to remain hush, hush about and not something to be talked about, but I say "fuck it, let's talk about sex." I AM GIVING YOU PERMISSION TO HAVE GREAT SEX! (If you want it) You should never settle for mediocre activity between the sheets, and whether its with a partner or yourself, you deserve to be in the moment and experience every touch and every sensation without negative thoughts getting in your way. Getting out of your head and turning those negative thoughts away before they can distract you from the act at hand is not something that will happen overnight, but it is something worth working towards and if you are in a relationship where you can communicate all these feels to your partner, it will be that much better.
Even though I don't believe a boudoir session is the only answer to amping up a sex life, I do believe it can play a big part in that. Not only because you will, of course, walk away with sexy, empowering, sexually charged photos of yourself, but also because of the confidence it takes to get naked in front of a stranger. ESPECIALLY, if you are usually a lights off kinda gal. I love putting my babes into provocative positions and shooting with a voyeuristic feel because I believe that it gives the women the feeling that she is in control of her sexual experience (which she is). Sensual photos of a woman...BY HERSELF....ENJOYING HERSELF....is extremely intimate, beautiful, and more often than not, a big turn on because it shows a confidence and independence that she doesn't NEED a partner to satisfy her, but rather she CHOOSES to have a partner (and that partner is f*ing lucky.)
Hands up if you have thought about your appearance whilst in the middle of an intimate moment with your partner. I am assuming there are a few of you nodding or actually putting your hand up, because it's silly to think that we wouldn't, especially when the average woman thinks about her appearance 252 times a week. And it's silly to think that those mental blocks hold us back from one of the biggest perks that come with being human. Get out of your head and in between the sheets. Liz from Eat Pray Love says it best when it comes to men and what THEY think about during sex:Liz: I’m in love. I’m having a relationship with my pizza. You look like you’re breaking up with your pizza. What’s the matter? Sofi: I can’t. Liz: What do you mean you can’t? This is Pizza Margherita in Napoli, it is imperative to eat and enjoy that pizza. Sofi: I want to, but I’ve gained like ten pounds. I mean, I’ve got this. . .right here in my tummy, you know this. . .what’s it called? What’s the word for it? Liz: A muffin top. I have one too. Sofi: I unbuttoned my jeans like five minutes ago just looking at this. Liz: Lemme ask you a question, in all the years you’ve ever undressed for a gentleman– Sofi: —it hasn’t been that many. Liz: Alright. Has he ever asked you to leave? Has he ever walked out, left? Sofi: No. Liz: Because he doesn’t care. He’s in a room with a naked girl. He’s won the lottery. I’m so tired of saying no and waking up in the morning and recalling every single thing I ate the day before. Counting every calorie I consumed so I know exactly how much self-loathing to take into the shower. I’m going for it. I have no interest in being obese; I’m just through with the guilt. So this is what I’m going to do, I’m going to finish this pizza and then we’re going to go watch the soccer game and tomorrow we’re going to go on a little date and buy ourselves some bigger jeans.
And as for Miss A? "My sex life is going to be amazing from here on out.....and I'll finally walk around with my head up." That's good to hear, Miss A, because every time you lower your head, your crown falls a bit lower. So raise up that chin, walk with the fierceness that being a sexually empowered woman entails, and own the Queen that you are!