You know that feeling when the sun breaks through the clouds, creating what can only be described as Heaven rays? Well, that's the perfect description of Miss B's entrance into the room. For our first meeting, the consultation, she burst through the door with a grin and jazzy personality that filled the room immediately. Her laugh, her amazing smile, and her....aura were all so incredibly infectious that I knew she NEEDED this. With an energy that powerful, one can feel it shift and when she began to tell me her story....a story of loss, heartache, and disappointment in this beautiful body of hers, the clouds came back together and tears rolled down her cheeks. The day of her session was a day filled with such an array of energy feels: anxious, fear, excitement, joy, nervousness...it was a cocktail of all the feelings...and the day started with more clouds, than sunlight. But she persevered, as the sun tends to do on the cloudiest of days. Suddenly, the beams were back, the grin spreading from cheek to cheek, the sass coming forth in every movement, and the goddess within bubbled forward, basking the entire studio in what can only be akin to the sun breaking over the horizon in the morning, casting it's glow on everything it touches. Miss B came alive right before my lens. I feel incredibly privileged to have gotten to know and experience Miss B and I can only imagine how grateful those who know her feel, when she casts her warmth and sunlight on them. Miss B wrote her own beautiful recount of her experience, in life and in her session because she knew it might be able to inspire just even ONE woman to feel differently....to feel empowered. Without further adieu, here she is:
I have always been a confident person, even when I had no right to be (hello 90’s? - Eek!). I’m not sure why but think it has to do with two things; I was the tallest, thickest girl in most of my classes growing up, so I accepted who I was early on and made no apologies for it. I was also lucky enough to have been raised by an incredible Mum and fabulous aunties who’d repeatedly tell me, “You can’t change the width of your shoulders or the size of your feet/You are beautiful inside and out - don’t be afraid to show the world who you are/Be fashionable, learn what flatters your body and walk tall/Size doesn’t determine worth.” This permission to be myself allowed me to flourish, to be kind, outgoing, intelligent, compassionate and confident.
On February 14, 2013 all of that changed. My husband and I were told that due to physician’s errors we’d never be able to have children. Utter devastation doesn’t even scratch the surface of how it affected us – me most of all. I am an only child and my husband is the only son with a partner. I placed the burden of carrying on both family lines directly on my shoulders and I felt I had failed myself, womankind, my husband, our parents and every antecedent that had ever lived. If I wasn’t going to be a Mum, what purpose did my life have? How could I face our families knowing I was such a disappointment? What did I have to live for? Through it all, my amazing husband would remind me, “I didn’t want to marry you so you would bear my children. I wanted to marry you because I knew I had to spend the rest of my life with you!” Coming from a very British upbringing where lips don’t quiver and you Carry On, I did my best to show a brave face to the rest of the world. We immediately started the process of adoption, went about our daily lives and fell apart in the privacy of our home.
Six months later my father died. The man who loved me unconditionally from the moment I took my first breath until the moment he took his last, was gone. Neither of us could do wrong in each other’s eyes and my decimation was complete. I totally gave up on life, on caring about myself and on hope. I felt worthless. I was reduced to nothing. I wailed and wallowed and grieved these deep losses for a long time. Through it all, my husband loved me, adored me, and reminded me that life was worth living. He still saw that spark of ME hidden under layers of sorrow that I thought was gone forever. Michael literally kept me alive.
Every Valentine’s Day for the last five years has been a shit show. We re-live that awful day in the doctor’s office and it casts a very dark shadow on what should be a wonderful celebration. This year I vowed to take the day back and made an appointment to see Teri. I was sick and tired of this sadness owning us and from now on, thanks to Teri, this date will be a celebration of us and of what we’ve survived together.
As I sat there during my reveal and saw these incredible images of myself, I was overcome with emotion. Yes! This is ME! While I watched my slideshow, tears streamed down my face, and with every blink I could see that Teri captured the Me I had lost, the Me my husband fell in love with and the Me the world used to know. I was shocked at how gorgeous I looked and yet felt a great swell of pride and confirmation as the hidden Me returned. When I started this process with Teri, I had convinced myself that this was going to be a gift for my husband and stand as a testament of our strength and love for each other. What I didn’t expect was that I fell in love with Me again.
Whether or not I become a mother, my life has meaning and purpose; to love those in my circle; to share my artistic gifts and bring joy to others; to be a light for everyone I meet and remind them that they have value. I accept what has been, live for what is and look forward to what will be.
This glorious babe has SO much love to give the world and I am so pleased that she stuck around to share some of her light with me. She also gave me the nickname Taco-Mama which I fucking love and am in the process of making a tshirt! Miss B, without a doubt, you are one of the most effervescent, brilliant women I have come to know and meet and I know you are going to move on, warming everyone with your beautiful light.
If you are interested in having your own self-love experience and uncovering that hidden light within, shoot me a message and let's have a chat!
She Was Floored ~ Winnipeg Boudoir Photographer
When I put out a call for some babes to tell me why they needed an empowerment experience, I had NO idea the stories that I would receive. After much deliberation (I sound like Tyra from America's Next Top Model), Jill & I narrowed it down to 3 incredibly inspirational, well written stories. Miss J was one of those bad ass babes, who wrote out her vulnerability for us and when she came in for her consultation, I knew this was exactly what she needed.
She brought some gorgeous lingerie and we paired it with some fun stuff from the studio and while all of that was gorgeous, what was even more shining, was the way Miss J spoke, held herself, and talked about her "love story" with herself. Read on to see how this experience affected miss J.
I would describe it as a landmark moment in my adult life (no exaggeration). The fact that [Teri] does this for women every single day makes her SO MUCH MORE THAN OPRAH! She doesn't give a gift that can be used up. Even a car will only last so long, but this is something that women will look in the mirror (and their albums) and be changed by for the rest of their lives.
While I very much enjoyed getting my hair and makeup professionally done (and despite the fact that taking my everyday makeup off somehow made me feel MORE vulnerable than being naked, lol), it was 100% Teri (as well as Jill, especially at the reveal) who MADE this experience. Even though I know they do this every day, they came across as SO FUCKING GENUINE. Every compliment, every encouragement, and even every laugh, was 100% pure, and never felt repetitious or rehearsed. Looking back on it, that really floored me. These incredible women made me feel more special (as corny as that word seems, it's truly the perfect one) in my time with them than I've ever felt, even on my wedding day. Teri Hofford Photography is a gift, and one I truly wish every woman could be given.
To see why we chose Miss J's story out of the pile of submissions, watch the video here:
She Didn't Feel Sexy {Minneapolis Diaries} ~ International Boudoir Photographer
Miss A and I spent a lot of time together while in Minneapolis because she wanted to put herself into her clients' shoes, but also she wanted to get her mentorship on! I had the pleasure of photographing her in my gorgeous AirBNB and then hanging with her at her awesome Minneapolis studio! This babe was nervous, but also incredibly saucy once we started shooting! She totally gets my mission and promotes the same female empowerment at her boudoir studio, focusing on shooting ladies with curves. Both of us talked about how it was important for there to be diversity of body types in the media, and since we are technically the "media" we could help make this change! So, without further adieu, here is Miss A and her beautiful story.
I loved the experience and just the feeling of confidence afterwards and knowing that I have done this not only for myself but also for my clients when I photograph them. 
I was so scared and nervous and seriously thought that she couldn't bring out sexy in me because I don't feel that way... I sometimes feel cute or silly but not sexy and beautiful. And to be okay with my body, which is a size 28 and to actually see it being strong and holding those poses {which were hard work) and yet I could do it even at my size!
Overall, the experience really had me thinking and re-evaluating my body and how I perceive myself! Thank you for letting me see a different side of me and pushing me out of my comfort zone!
Not only did this babe kill it, but she now knows exactly what her clients feel: before, during, and after the shoot. You can see Miss A's own bog post about her experience here! I cannot wait to see her business grow! This is why I love, love, love to do mentorships (or teritorials as I call them)!! I, as one person, can only empower so many people, but if I can mentor and educate photographers to help them go forth and empower women, then so many more women will have their lives changed!! So, if you are a photographer wanting to impact more women and do more with your business, let me know or if you are a client who is ready to take the leap and do something you will NEVER regret, shoot me an email!
Hands to Myself {Inspiration Session} ~ Winnipeg Boudoir Photography
As soon as I had seen Selena Gomez' video "Hands to Myself" I was immediately inspired! Not just because of the catchy song, but the entire video was glorious and I wanted to do a session based off of it, so I contact Miss M because she had the perfect look for the shoot! Right down to the super straight hair (and willingness to let me handcuff her) she killed this inspiration shoot. The video is at the bottom if you haven't seen it yet. Nicole Velasquez of Envy Beauty Makeup Services did a fab job on the hair and makeup for our own "Selena." (If you want a smokey eye that doesn't make you look like a panda, contact this babe.)
She Freed Herself from Negativity {Las Vegas Diaries} ~ International boudoir photographer
NSFW (of course)Maybe it's because I shoot quite often, but I sometimes take for granted the power that a session can have in changing a person's life. Miss A was one of the boudoir babes that allowed me to photograph her whilst in Vegas and as a killer photographer herself, I knew she was going to rock it. Between her strawberry pink hair, gorgeous tattoos, and sassy personality I knew she would deliver. It was after the fact, however, that I realized just how much our short session affected her. Miss A gave me full permission to share her testimonial with you because it is extremely inspirational:"Something in me totally changed. I hate to sound cliche like every other person who posts how seeing photos changed them, but they have. I literally don't think I have ever thought I looked sexy. Every time in my life that I've ever had sex all I could think is about how I must look bad in that position, or how he must be looking at my saggy boobs, the thought made it very hard for me to truly enjoy sex. I even thought it was nasty to actually orgasm. So I got home from Vegas, watched the video {that I had made of the Vegas trip} and then went to dinner. After coming back I had sex, and not just regular sex, but the best freaking sex of my life. For the first time in my life I was not worried about what was going on around me and I just enjoyed the moment. I enjoyed everything about the moment. This said...I am so happy that I was finally able to let me mind free from the negative thoughts and just enjoy the love of my life. XOXO thanks."
Wow. If that isn't powerful, I don't know what is!! Sex is one of those things that women are supposed to remain hush, hush about and not something to be talked about, but I say "fuck it, let's talk about sex." I AM GIVING YOU PERMISSION TO HAVE GREAT SEX! (If you want it) You should never settle for mediocre activity between the sheets, and whether its with a partner or yourself, you deserve to be in the moment and experience every touch and every sensation without negative thoughts getting in your way. Getting out of your head and turning those negative thoughts away before they can distract you from the act at hand is not something that will happen overnight, but it is something worth working towards and if you are in a relationship where you can communicate all these feels to your partner, it will be that much better.
Even though I don't believe a boudoir session is the only answer to amping up a sex life, I do believe it can play a big part in that. Not only because you will, of course, walk away with sexy, empowering, sexually charged photos of yourself, but also because of the confidence it takes to get naked in front of a stranger. ESPECIALLY, if you are usually a lights off kinda gal. I love putting my babes into provocative positions and shooting with a voyeuristic feel because I believe that it gives the women the feeling that she is in control of her sexual experience (which she is). Sensual photos of a woman...BY HERSELF....ENJOYING HERSELF....is extremely intimate, beautiful, and more often than not, a big turn on because it shows a confidence and independence that she doesn't NEED a partner to satisfy her, but rather she CHOOSES to have a partner (and that partner is f*ing lucky.)
Hands up if you have thought about your appearance whilst in the middle of an intimate moment with your partner. I am assuming there are a few of you nodding or actually putting your hand up, because it's silly to think that we wouldn't, especially when the average woman thinks about her appearance 252 times a week. And it's silly to think that those mental blocks hold us back from one of the biggest perks that come with being human. Get out of your head and in between the sheets. Liz from Eat Pray Love says it best when it comes to men and what THEY think about during sex:Liz: I’m in love. I’m having a relationship with my pizza. You look like you’re breaking up with your pizza. What’s the matter? Sofi: I can’t. Liz: What do you mean you can’t? This is Pizza Margherita in Napoli, it is imperative to eat and enjoy that pizza. Sofi: I want to, but I’ve gained like ten pounds. I mean, I’ve got this. . .right here in my tummy, you know this. . .what’s it called? What’s the word for it? Liz: A muffin top. I have one too. Sofi: I unbuttoned my jeans like five minutes ago just looking at this. Liz: Lemme ask you a question, in all the years you’ve ever undressed for a gentleman– Sofi: —it hasn’t been that many. Liz: Alright. Has he ever asked you to leave? Has he ever walked out, left? Sofi: No. Liz: Because he doesn’t care. He’s in a room with a naked girl. He’s won the lottery. I’m so tired of saying no and waking up in the morning and recalling every single thing I ate the day before. Counting every calorie I consumed so I know exactly how much self-loathing to take into the shower. I’m going for it. I have no interest in being obese; I’m just through with the guilt. So this is what I’m going to do, I’m going to finish this pizza and then we’re going to go watch the soccer game and tomorrow we’re going to go on a little date and buy ourselves some bigger jeans.
And as for Miss A? "My sex life is going to be amazing from here on out.....and I'll finally walk around with my head up." That's good to hear, Miss A, because every time you lower your head, your crown falls a bit lower. So raise up that chin, walk with the fierceness that being a sexually empowered woman entails, and own the Queen that you are!