Miss R is one of the most beautiful human beings I have ever met. I had the pleasure of meeting her at my very first empowerment project back in the day and then we have seen each other a few times after that. We learned a lot about each other at our Body Positivity Roundtable and as someone who is in the same profession as me, we have quite a bit in common. This babe is a talented photog and creative person with a big heart. After our body image conversation, I knew that this session was going to mean a lot to her.
Miss R transformed in front of the camera. She definitely brought her A-game and killed her session. And when I found out how flexible she was, there was no stopping us! More importantly she exclaims that her boudoir experience was "MIND NUMBINGLY FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC" and her story is something you are definitely going to want to read!
Let me start by saying sentences were the hardest thing to form while having my reveal… only words, two or three at a time, were producing out of my mouth. “Holy shit” seemed to be my preferred combination!
What interested me the most during this time though, was how every time I fell in love with a picture and became happy, I almost immediately began telling myself to “calm down and stop being narcissistic”. I felt like I wasn’t allowed to be in love with my photos… wasn’t allowed to be in love with myself because I was being vain or self-absorbed . Then the next photo would pop up and I would go through that cycle again. I felt like I wasn’t allowed to be pretty, sexy or beautiful in these photos until someone else told me. Which, let me tell you, Teri and Jill were DEFINITELY letting me know!
But why? Why did I feel like I needed that validation, that permission? It wasn’t until I took a step back half way through my photos that I realized, all I needed was to feel as happy as I was. I am allowed to think I am gorgeous, I am allowed to believe that I don’t just look good because “these are professional photos”. I look beautiful, simply because, I am.
Another thing that interested me, no… rather, what SURPRISED me, was that I didn’t find myself nit-picking at my body. I wasn’t looking for things I didn’t like or looking for the things I “know’ are there that I don’t like. I didn’t find myself comparing myself in my head to my friends (as I normally do), or wishing that my body looked like someone else’s or wishing that I had “just lost 5 more pounds” for the shoot. I was more than happy just being me, having the body I have right in this moment. And let me tell yeah, just how FUCKING empowering that was.
I always worry about how people (even my friends and family) look at me and 100% of the time I think everyone just looks at me and thanks their lucky stars they don’t have my body. That they feel they can rest easy knowing they don’t have my body and don’t look like me or don’t weigh what I weigh etc…. But not this day, this day I thanked my lucky stars I have this body in all of its Goddess Queen like glory.
After my shoot, literally on the way out of Teri’s studio, I ironically came across this quote that I feel sums up my whole experience with my boudoir shoot. “The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet” – Mohadesa Najumi
I know without a doubt, that the battle Miss R was having during her reveal is one that many women go through. This is why it is so important to me that we communicate after the reveal slideshow. Whatever the reaction is, it is completely normal! For so long we look to other people for validation of our beauty, but I think the world is coming around to the fact that we don't NEED to do that anymore. It is not narcisstic for you to love yourself and tell yourself you are beautiful...in fact, it is HEALTHY to do so. It is not shameful for you to appreciate your assets and your Goddess-like nature. It is important. I need all of you babes that relate to Miss R's self-conversations to stop right now and say "I'm beautiful and I am worthy and I am a Goddess....and it's okay that I am saying this."