I received an email from Miss J that started with the following:
Her harmony came not throughthe complete absence of chaos,but in the realisationthat she was resilient enoughto come back stronger than anythingthat she would endure.~ Becca Lee
Miss J has frequented my blog on a few occasions, but I think this session was the one that took her to new depths of her soul. We always have fun shooting together, but when she came in for her consult this time, I told her that I wanted her to realize that she is more than just a comedian or a "funny gal". I wanted her to realize how sexy, strong, feminine and amazing she is and the humor just adds to the amazing cocktail that is Miss J. Here's Miss J's take on her boudoir session:
This was not my first photo session with Teri: we met at the style-off competition last winter, then she took some hilarious and fun headshots for me, and finally she was there capturing the precious moments of my haircut for cancer.
Strangely enough, I hadn’t yet booked myself a true boudoir session. I jumped on one of the fabulous monthly promos, and the excitement began. When I met with Teri she made an effort to push me into a real, raw boudoir shoot. She saw that I am more comfortable playing a role than being myself, and I am so grateful she could see that in me, because I realized afterwards how satisfying it was to see ME in every photo. Boudoir has a way like nothing else to look at ourselves and celebrate our bodies, our beauty, our sensuality, our womanness.
I noticed a lot of people comment on my photos saying they could NEVER do a boudoir shoot. I stand in front of these amazing, beautiful, breathtaking women with my mouth agape as they pinch at fat and carefully deconstruct their faces until I’m not entirely sure whose face they are talking about anymore. Do they think I have not done the same to myself? Of course I have. A million times over. But I just got tired of it. I got tired of always finding something wrong in my reflection, and it started transferring into every interaction in my life. I became an expert at misery. I spent my life thinking my nose entered the room before I did, until I let my guard down and listened when people told me that my eyes often shone the brightest in a room, how my laughter was contagious, how my story inspired them.
This boudoir session allowed me to be vulnerable AND empowered. Our lives, our bodies, are so precious, and we spend so much precious effort on loathing our “flaws.” The cold hard fact that I have learned in the last few years is that you can’t take “beauty” with you, “beauty” is fleeting and worthless without a big heart, passion, ambition, and love for your life and your world.
Strip down, in whatever sense of the word that suits you best, let the world see the cracks in the facade, and don’t be afraid to shine as bright as you can.
Jessica quickly became, like many boudy babes do, a good friend of mine and it is so exciting for me to watch her come into her own. Also, she always brings me baked goods which doesn't hurt! You can check one of Miss J's talent for writing here: 50 First Swipes and if you want to follow her life in comedy, I would assume you can hit her up on Facebook! Once you have done all of those things and are ridiculously inspired by this babe, I would assume you would want to book your own life changing session, so head on over to the Contact page and send me a note!
Yay!! Summer has arrived!! The sun is gorgeously beaming down on us in a more consistent fashion and we are no longer bundled from head to toe. So why a PSA? Because tan lines...that's why.
I get that we want to be outside more and enjoy the great outdoors, but if you have a boudoir sesh scheduled for this summer/fall I highly recommend being mindful of what you are wearing when you are outside. It's not that I cannot take care of tan lines, it's that it adds a lot more time into the editing process and for clients that translates into a higher bill. Extreme tan lines/editing is charged at $100/hr if you do not want them in your images. Personally, I am a fan of tan lines.
Especially when bums are pale compared to the legs and tummy. An old advisor once told me the same thing, because it lets the viewer know that they are seeing parts of the body that normally are hidden from society, so it adds to the voyeurism. So, if you come in with crazy farm tans from mowing the lawn or some ridiculous tan pattern as a result of those mesh bathing suits that are all the rage I may forewarn you about the additional cost and give you the option of letting the tan lines stay in.
Also, protecting yourself from the sun is just a good idea in general as you don't want to damage your skin any more than you have to. My recommendation is to be liberal with your sunscreen, be wary of the types of outfits you are wearing leading up to your session, and plan your session wardrobe accordingly in case you do get some interesting lines that you want to conceal.
And since we are on the topic of tanning, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO SPRAY TANS, LOTIONS, OR OTHER MAGICAL THINGS! My prep guide specifies this, but the main reason for this is A)it will leave orange streaks the furniture/bedding, but more importantly B) it may look fine in person, but translates terribly on camera. The camera picks up every streaky bit and tends to pick up the residue in the joints (knuckles, elbows, arm pits, etc.) and can make you look dirty. These are NOT the things that you want when you come in for a sexified session. Also, your skin is yours and it should reflect YOU not some stupid ideal that society seems to this is "beautiful". Pale? Love it. Naturally tan? Fab. Dark? Perf.
Now, go forth and enjoy your summer, my hot babes!
No, this is not Jessica Rabbit (though she may want to consider that as a Halloween costume this year!). This stunner is Miss G and she came by for a shoot and she slayed the grunge goddess look with ease. Between her hair color, radiant confidence and ability to create magic with her eyes, we made some stellar images. I have known Miss G for a few years and have seen her progress as an artist (she also is a photographer!) and work towards becoming a self-assured woman. We rocked 2 looks for this session: one more seductive and sultry and the second, a throwback to the 90s! She did amazing with both and we had a ton of fun with the session. Sessions like this prove that you don't have to go buy traditional lingerie to make epic, gorgeous images! In fact, it's more fun to take items that are less common in boudoir and make them look hot af. The makeup and hair was done by none other than my talented teammate Nicole Velasquez!
I have no words for this session with Miss S. She is a fighter, a bad ass babe, a super sexy woman....but she never saw it and barely believed it. The first time I met Miss S I knew she had some concerns and hesitations about doing a boudoir session...so much so that we had TWO consultations and her session was a year in the making. I won't say anymore, however, but rather, give way to Miss S's powerful story. She is taking over the blog for today and you are not going to want to miss this! (Also, how fucking amazing are her outfits?? LOVED the colors!)
"My body has changed so much over the years, I gained 100 lbs and I had no control over it. I have a brain tumor which caused me to gain weight and gave me physical side effects in which I have no control over. I have had 2 brain surgeries and while my disease is still a contributing factor to my daily life I knew in order to be happy in my everyday life I had to except and start loving the body I am in as it may never change. About a year ago, I saw some of Teri’s pictures and specifically Nikita’s. I was mesmerized by how a plus size woman’s beauty was so flawless she is absolutely stunning. Thus began my relationship with Teri.
I initially had a consultation in 2015…where Teri explained to me the process, and began the transformation of how I saw myself. Something so simple as I said I want to feel beautiful for a day and she said HUN you are beautiful every day. I mentioned I hated my stomach and she called me on it and had me looking at it with an accepting attitude. Then I had another consultation and we discussed what I would wear and what she would have me doing and I was SOOOO nervous I thought I would puke. We made my appointment, and from that moment until the day it arrived I almost cancelled, and sent a half dozen emails with questions.
The day of my appointment I was nauseous , she let me relax on the couch and Nicole showed up and music was going and we just talked about music and our weekend plans Nicole and Teri just made me feel comfortable. I wasn’t a stranger ..Nicole’s makeup was AMAZING (I kept it on for 2 days). She did my hair which was simple and the way I do it and I was like "why does it feel so different?" Then it began. 
I was so unsure about my smile and my posture and Teri told me I was stunning and gorgeous just kept going ….By the 2nd outfit I said to Teri "Wow! This is so liberating …." It was like I didn’t feel like I was this overweight mom of 3 kids, I was a beautiful mom of 3 kids…by the end of our shoot I was changing in front of Teri I wasn’t hiding in the corner of the studio and I was smiling and laughing a lot …and not just while she was taking the pictures. I was on a high for the rest of the day, I felt completely comfortable with who I was, and the increased amount of selfie’s where proof. Lol.
Then came time for the reveal and I was sitting at Teri’s computer and I was looking, not at the computer, but at Teri with tears in my eyes…I was scared, so very scared that everything I felt was going to come crashing down the moment I saw myself...the very shell of me on screen with no protection, and she said "look at those pictures and when you do look at them as you would someone else like your mom or your sister or a friend, NOT yourself" …and I did. 
I fell in love with myself. I have never felt so beautiful in all my life. I looked at the photos and it was my clothes and my body …It was just me and Teri and her camera and I was beautiful. I have been smiling and on a cloud for 2 days since my reveal and I even showed my mother.
Every woman regardless of age, shape or size should do this. Have the opportunity to fall in love with themselves. Teri has given me pictures and but much more than that. SHE gave me the opportunity to appreciate and love the body that I have been given. I may have things I cannot control on the inside but I sure as hell can Love the outside. Thank you Teri ..you have really changed my life xoxoxo "
Better yet, let's not talk about bodies at all. #BOPO #bodypositivity #iambeautiful #iampretty #iammorethanjustmybodyandweneedtostartrealizingthatthisismoreimportant. Has anyone else noticed that "body positivity" is getting extremely watered down? It's becoming so topical, trendy, empty, and void. Don't get me wrong, I love to see women loving their bodies regardless of size, shape, color, etc. BUT now we are heading to far in the other direction and it seems as though if you aren't body positive, you should feel guilty about it. I don't know, maybe I am just being cynical but I think that we should strive to achieve peace with our body...body neutral, if you will. Am I happy to see diversity in the media? Of course, but I would be a hell of a lot happier if they stopped referring to the models as "Plus models" or stopped making their size the focus of their marketing as opposed to the actual garments. Maybe my rant is because I have been working for the last 2 weeks without a day off...I mean, after all I am a self proclaimed body positivity activist, right?
But I have been thinking about this a lot and I thought about myself and my mission and what I am really trying to accomplish. At what point did we forget that we are so much more than just our bodies? I mean, there had to have been a time when our body didn't even register as a thing that was good or bad, it just....was. I am starting to think that this is even more important, possibly, than body positivity.
I get that I am striving to help people be more positive about the things they say and think about their body, but more importantly I want them to realize that there is more to them than JUST a body. My other post about 
You are an accumulation of passion, drive, generosity, fearlessness, courage, brilliance bravery, soul, spirit, and dreams. There is no casing perfect enough to encapsulate ALL of these things aside from the one you have been given. And you are not these things all at once and you're also never specifically one of these things. I like to think of our spirit and who we ACTUALLY are is similar to a beautiful cosmos....swirling, changing, sparkling, showing up, disappearing, a continual eddy of glitter that cannot possibly be found in our skin color, our body shape, or size. And maybe that's what frustrates us ABOUT our bodies.....is that we don't see ourselves truly reflected in our casing because we DO know we are much more than our outsides.
We need to start changing our conversations and the words we use to describe each other and the world around us. Look at the potential, the ferocity, the courage, the brilliance, the confidence, instead of JUST the beauty and bodies. And blame it all on biology if you want. The fact that we look for "healthy" mates and find those with symmetrical faces to be more appealing is rooted in biology. But let's be clear, there's this little thing called evolution or adaptability (if you don't believe in evolution) that has shown us that we are able to change our brain paths and with every new generation we are a bit different than the last. So, let's start to change our biological brains to learn a new habit. One that starts to see past bodies and recognize people for WHO they are, instead of what they look like....and that goes for ourselves too. Look in the mirror, but compliment your inner strength, brilliance, and drive. The only thing you should care about on your body is whether or not you have toothpaste on your chin or food in your teeth.
With every photo project I do, I am realizing more and more that we need to stop comparing because it is like comparing different kittens....THEY ARE ALL ADORABLE!!! Our motivations, our personality, our relationships, etc. are not one size fits all, just as our bodies are not one size fits all. So why do we keep trying to force ourselves into this weird checklist of "perfection"? I get that we want to socially "fit in" and all that, but at what expense? I tried that and I hated myself. I am sure I am not alone in this. You know that feeling when you are talking about something you love and are passionate about and your voice gets louder, and your hands start moving, and your eyes get sparkly and you talk faster and you don't even give a shit to what or how your body looks in that moment?? That's your soul saying "hey, hey! THIS is YOU!! This is what you are made of!!" You will never feel that same sparkle when you try to be someone else because it is not you. Plain and simple. You know that saying "Trying to fit a square peg into a round hole"? That is the fight the majority of people make every single day that they try to be something they aren't.
In this day and age (and yes, I realize how old that makes me sound) we are being sucked into a vortex of sub-species. It's like society is turning us into someone's ridiculous Starbucks order! Everything we try to do or be, someone feels the need to put a label on it: Cis, Bi, Plus, Straight, Thin, White, Black, Brown, Bla Bla Bla. Why is this necessary? Why does everything need to fit into a little packaged box. Why can't we just....be? Do I take pride in being a woman? Of course. But I am more than my gender. Just as I am more than my size, my sexual orientation, my PCOS, and my job. These are just some of the things that make up the cosmic map that is Teri Kristin Lee Hofford and I am trying to be the most Teri Kristin Lee Hofford that I know how to be. Stop putting fucking labels on yourself and other people, they only continue to segregate people and cause hurt and sadness.
So after this ranty post, am I still a body positivity activist? Yes. I always look to the positive so I believe my mission is to help women change their brain paths and habits to help them achieve a healthier relationship with their body. But I have also realized that I am also a sparkly-life activist (don't let the name fool you, even though I'm sparkly, I'm still tough love Teri): I will inspire, motivate, and empower women to achieve their strongest, most effervescent lives without anything holding them back (including body image). I will help women see their cosmic map for what it is and to use their beautiful differences to inspire, motivate, and heal others. I will help women to understand that their beauty is so much more than the curves of their hips, the length of their eyelashes, or the firmness of their breasts. I will ask women the tough questions to help them understand why they feel the way they do about themselves and the world around them. I will help women move out of their comfort zone into a world of growth and opportunity, free of judgment from themselves and inspire them to move mountains with their power, not their body. I will teach women to revel in the galaxy that makes up their soul and to appreciate all the bits, even the ones that make them feel less worthy, because even broken things shine brightly. Lastly, I will remove any and all labels, providing a judgement free space where women can talk about their fears in relation to themselves: their body, their mind, their dreams, their soul and hopefully give them some comfort to move forward into the world, becoming aquainted with their true, authentic, beautiful, powerful self. I will not ask women to be body positive (unless they want to be), but rather body accepting and body neutral. If you can come to a a place of peace with your Earth suit, that is still better than being negative and this peace allows you to focus on the other parts that truly give value to your wonderous being! Now, go forth, dwell in the magic that is your spirit and enjoy the journey!