Well, shit....It's December. When the heck did that happen??? It feels like we were just finishing up our New Years Eve shoot that finished off 2015...phew! The holiday season is interesting because as much as it is filled with "joy", diet culture has also told us to be full of "guilt" over what we eat & drink and that is no way to live a body positive lifestyle, let me tell you!! This whole "I hate myself because I ate a piece of pie" bullshit that starts in Thanksgiving and pretty much carries over until you purchase a too expensive gym membership that you will use quite a bit for two weeks, but then fall back into old habits, is getting pretty old if you ask me. Now, I am not bashing those who want to maintain a balance with their body, but it shouldn't be such a love/hate/guilt/shame relationship that many of us have....it should be a "I ate and drank quite a bit last night. My body deserves better because I don't want to get sick this holiday season, so I will take it easy until the next party comes along." This sounds like a healthier conversation than the one where we are crying about our weight into sticky toffee pudding. Maybe it's just me.....but if it's not, I wanted to throw together a body positive advent calendar to kind of keep those negative conversations at bay and help you truly have a joyful holiday season and give thanks for the kick ass body you do have, whatever point in your journey you are at!
I urge you to do some of, if not all of these things to keep you in a positive mindset when it comes to our body relationships. Like everything else around the holidays, traditions are incredibly common, but one tradition I hope to change is the one where we shame ourselves into feeling like a bag of shit because we ate 3 Turtles! I hope you laugh, cry, hug, kiss, and appreciate the time you have this holiday season and my team and I wish you the very best! I am off to a sunny destination for the first week of December, but I will be back after that and I hope to see many of you bad ass babes feeling strong, beautiful, and empowered! Happy December!
Buddhism & Bodies ~ Self Love Guest Post
{article written by: Ciaran August, photos by: Teri Hofford}
To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.Thich Nhat HahnWhat does Buddhism have to do with loving our bodies? Everything.
People, in my experience, look at Buddhism as a religion when indeed it is more of a practice, a way of looking at the world. The difference between how our regular selves view the world compared to the mindful approach view of the world:Think about this, every day our bodies wake up, our hearts and brains have been working overnight to maintain a sleep cycle; a steady breath, a constant heartbeat and temperature. The blood courses through our veins in a ballet of effortless survival. How amazing is that? As you sleep, your body is like, “I got this bro, don’t worry about it, you keep lusting after a Channing Tatum in a ballet tutu feeding you pop rocks, and I will keep your brain nourished with oxygen and your kidneys working.” But all we can think about is how terrible our tummy rolls are or how our bum has failed us fitting into our pants.
In a World where we have to run around in bikinis after performing the immense miracle of baring and bringing a human life into the world, a la Karadashians, what if we could wear our stretch marks as badge of honor?What if we could step back in amazement at how our bodies house a little life for 9 months and that they know what to do if we can only be calm and present for experiences?What would happen if we let our partners see us, stretch marks, wabbly bits and all?What if, as men, we allowed our partners to worship our bodies, hairy backs, beer bellies and all?What if we were allowed to express gratitude for this amazing machine that does its best against all odds to keep us alive and happy?
There was a time, and there still are times, when I look at my own size 22 body and feel the shame of sitting in meditation with beautiful thin yoga bodies. There’s been times when I hear myself saying I have no right to be here and take up this space with “real” practitioners. These are the lies I’ve been told and tell myself daily; that real women have long hair and maybe don’t look as queer as me. But the truth is we are all looking out at the world worrying about other people judging us when other people are also looking out at other people judging them.
So, how do I start becoming more mindful of my body?If you’re still reading, you’re probably interested and I found a lot of practical exercises and resources on Dr Christopher Germer’s website. I found these exercises to be extremely helpful in my own journey, so here is your jumping off point into transforming your life and your view of your body.
She Is A Fighter {Minneapolis Diaries} ~ International Boudoir Photographer
The team and I took a road trip down to the big city of Minneapolis for shooting and shopping and it was a whirlwind of a trip. We went down on Canada day, stayed for July 4th, and met some crazy beautiful women with fabulous stories. Miss R found out about me through her friend that I had the pleasure of shooting in Vegas and drove 3 hours to come see me! We shot at the gorgeous AirBnb that we rented for the week and made use of the gorgeous moody light. I could tell when Miss R got there that she had some hesitations and was extremely nervous. Due to the distance we were not able to have an in-person consultation, so I totally got where she was coming from, but this is why it is SO important that we do consultations if you ARE in Winnipeg! Anywho, this babe was reluctant because she saw herself as "Mom" and "Wife" and was unsure of herself and her body since she had 3 little ones. I will let her tell you her story, but I have to say she blew. me. away. She dug deep and found herself again.
So I finally did it. Me, a young mom of three, self conscious to the max, fighting major depression since childhood and still struggling to 'find myself'. As we talked prior to shoot, I know Teri could see my shy and timid nature, but as we continued shooting I found myself turn into a sexy beast, someone I never knew I could be.
The compliments and easy directions Teri told me, made it so easy for me to transform. I know she doesn't say she will transform us, better enhance our own beauty, let that person who's been hiding out, but she did, she transformed me into a goddess!
I felt more confident than I have ever felt in my entire life. I felt sexy. I felt beautiful. I felt happy with myself. And very brave for doing this.
Never once during the entire session did I do my normal negative self talk, pointing out my 'mom tummy', how my face is too fat, how I hate my thighs and I wish I was thinner, NONE, NONE OF IT!!! I was fierce, I was incredible and I felt amazing. I was no longer 'just a mom', 'not pretty enough for this', or a 'lost and self conscious girl'... I was a woman, a fucking hot and awesome woman who can and WILL achieve amazing things.
<3 I cant thank you enough for making me feel like this Teri. You are a wonderful person to change lives like this!
My favorite outfit was nothing at all. By the end of the session I felt so confident, nothing but a blanket was all I needed to shine through! At the beginning I was so nervous and scared but quickly I changed into someone who wasn't afraid of anything.
I'm so grateful to have the photos to remind myself that I can be beautiful, I can be sexy and I can always be timid about something as long as I fight through it, amazing results will shine through. Thank you for this opportunity to find the good in myself again!
I think Miss R. hit the nail on the head when she said it's okay to be timid, as long as you fight through it to do something amazing that you will never regret! I am so thankful she shared her story and her experience because I know there are far too many "moms" out there who forget that they are first and foremost WOMEN. Think you are ready to reclaim your sensuality and goddess-like nature? If so, hit me up at the contact page and let's chat!!
Too fat, Too saggy {and all the other lies she told herself} ~ Winnipeg Boudoir Photography
Miss D, oh, Miss D. This epic babe came off as quiet and reserved, but as soon as the cameras turned on she tapped into her sensuality and femininity and gave me what I was looking for. This babe has been one of the most active women in the VIP group on facebook and I am extremely grateful to her for that because sometimes I get too busy, but she sees the need to keep people inspired, empowered, and motivated. What a woman! I loved reading her story (though I don't recommend this before going into a meeting, because tears will run down your cheeks and you will look stoned because of the red eyes...) and these women, I tell ya, they just blow me away. For her, this session was about helping her see the babe within so she could be a role model to her kids and help them develop a healthy body image before the world can tell them what is "wrong" with them. But, enough of my yammering, here is Miss D's experience straight from her!!
Boudoir photos were always on "my list" but were never prioritized for some reason or other...too fat, too saggy, too frumpy, too "Mom" and of course the cost - Moms don't spend this on themselves. Coming across Teri Hoffard Photography's facebook page intrigued me. The picture I saw was of a beyond beautiful woman of not so "society sized" portion...like me.
Reading the article, this woman had all the same fears, anxieties and self-consciousness I did but yet here she was, in pictures looking so gorgeous you can FEEL her energy. That is what I wanted, that is how I wanted to feel, that is what I wanted to show my daughters. I booked my consultation! Hair and make up was fun and certainly helped aide in comfort of what was to come next; but it wasn't what made my pictures come to life.
I remember trying to follow Teri's instructions precisely because I kept thinking "I don't know how to look sexy" and "I can't just turn that on!" Her words were assuring and sometimes silly, making me at ease and trusting that she could make "this" look good. I admit I left the shoot still unsure how they would turn out. Reveal day was exciting! I appreciated her guidance and method of viewing alone before showing my husband and turning off the judgmental voice in my head. I was surprised!
The woman in the pictures looked amazing! Beauty, confidence and a sparkle I barely recognized was in these pictures. My pictures. Teri posted one of my pictures on facebook, I shared it so all my peeps could see. (Previously thinking no one but me and my husband would ever see these) The response was overwhelming. One friend in particular commented "You look incredible. And like you FEEL incredible!!" and I had to laugh because it was all very mechanical in the moment. "Point this" "Arch that" was all I had in my head.
Receiving my album was even more special. To see myself in print, a collection presented so beautifully, was my "super-model" moment. My fat, saggy, frumpy, Mom body disappeared. I could feel the energy of the woman in the picture like I wanted. The sparkle I saw in the digitals was there too. That woman in the picture is not a super-model or society sized but she is strong and confident and beautiful. A woman I want my daughters to know. I AM that woman and on days that I forget, I have a keepsake to remind me. Don't think about it, don't wait, don't judge yourself, just do it. Prioritize your well being, find your sparkle, no one is better at helping you show your sparkle than Teri.
Miss D is definitely a sparkly babe and I am so proud of her for diving into her sensual side and empowering herself. Sometimes we have a very one sided and, unfortunately, negative view of ourselves, so to see ourselves as the rest of the world does helps to improve our self-love relationship. Especially as a parent or role model to younger people, it is so important to help them focus on themselves in a bigger sense....love your body, but love ALL the things that make you awesome. Start those conversations early. I know boudoir photographer and friend of mine, Lindsay Rae D'Ottavio has her little, redheaded babe say "I am beautiful, brave, and smart." It is our job to leave legacies, so what better way than to raise a generation more consumed with being epic human beings instead of getting the perfect Kim K butt. Anyhow, if you are ready to start your self-love journey, give me a shout and let's chat about it!!
The Hardest 3.5 Minutes of Her Life ~ Winnipeg Boudoir Photography
I think my makeup artist Nicole said it best when she told Miss K "It's like you have happiness shining out of you." This gorgeous woman bounded into my studio with such excitement that it couldn't be held in. Her infectious smile, sparkly personality, and sassy self definitely fit the "boudy vibe" and I knew that for her it was going to be important that she saw herself as a sexy woman. She kept saying she "didn't know how to be sexy" (If I had a dollar for every time a boudy babe uttered those words....) I also advised her that for some people, smiling IS sexy. I think we have this stupid idea of what sexy is, but it (like most things dictated by "society") is bullshit. Sexy is you in your most natural, unapologetic, confident state. Anyhow, I will let Miss K take over the blog now, with her feels about boudoir. I love this babe.
At first I was rather nervous to do the shoot wth Teri as its something outside of my comfort zone as I was (not so much anymore) self conscious about my body. Growing up as a bigger kid those feelings of self consciousness don't go away and tend to linger regardless of working out a fair amount and losing weight it's hard to shake those negative self thoughts that you've had for such a long time.
The only thing i regret is doing my consult so early from the shoot as I was dying from excitement waiting over two months to do the actual shoot. The day of the shoot itself I was certainly nervous but after some delightful directions from Teri and tons of laughter I definitely became more confident and comfortable!! No second thoughts when she asked "Sooo you wanna do some topless pictures" or "do you want to get naked now" it was just yup! Let's do it!
Throughout the actual shoot as well Teri just makes you feel so amazing. It literally pumped my confidence and self love so much I'm almost still bursting!
AND THEN THE REVEAL!! That had to be the hardest 3 and a half minutes of my life looking at all those pictures and seeing myself in another light - I am gorgeous. Amazing. Confident and no longer care to or want to strive to be anything but myself and love the body I have the way it is. I can't thank Teri enough for being such an amazing eye opening support and laughing with me, passing me the tissues whilst crying like a blubbering baby and for aiding me in my self love quest!
Miss K also showed her images to her momma and here is what Mama K had to say:"LOVE YOU and I must say, I’m very proud of you, Kasia – you are very beautiful – inside and out and I rejoice in your discovery of you!!! I say that from my heart not just because I’m your Mam!!!"I asked Miss K if I could share her images and her story, not only because they are beautiful, but also because I think it is important for people to realize that women of ALL sizes struggle with body image and feeling okay with themselves. We are all just trying to fit into these stupid boxes that the world tries to put us in (even though regardless of how much weight we lose, gain, or change, we will just be forced into another box) and I think that the more women take the time to show themselves some self love they will start to realize that they ARE enough and all along they WERE enough...and the people that can't get on board with that?...well, they can just fuck off.