When Miss M came in for her first shoot, about 2 years ago, she probably never imagined that she would end up in a magazine nor did she think she would be asked to model for my posing tutorial video. Well, every time I presented her with an opportunity she never said no and that's how beautiful Miss M became one of my Boudy Muses. Now, for those of you that aren't sure what a Boudy Muse is, it is someone that I have an easy time photographing without giving much direction and there is a certain "chemistry" as odd as that sounds that allows us to just "click!" The very first time I shot Miss M I felt it and knew I needed her to come back in for some new stuff! This babe brings it every time and is always incredibly professional on set! The best part about these opportunities, however, is that SHE had to do something uncomfortable. SHE had to book her own boudoir session first, she had to invest in herself first, and she had to take a chance on something that was incredibly scary for her...but NOW LOOK!! She has graced the pages of the national Fabuplus magazine and is now inspiring to so many women, photographers and other clients alike! It pays to take a chance on yourself every now and then.
She Had Given Up On Life ~ Winnipeg Boudoir Photography
You know that feeling when the sun breaks through the clouds, creating what can only be described as Heaven rays? Well, that's the perfect description of Miss B's entrance into the room. For our first meeting, the consultation, she burst through the door with a grin and jazzy personality that filled the room immediately. Her laugh, her amazing smile, and her....aura were all so incredibly infectious that I knew she NEEDED this. With an energy that powerful, one can feel it shift and when she began to tell me her story....a story of loss, heartache, and disappointment in this beautiful body of hers, the clouds came back together and tears rolled down her cheeks. The day of her session was a day filled with such an array of energy feels: anxious, fear, excitement, joy, nervousness...it was a cocktail of all the feelings...and the day started with more clouds, than sunlight. But she persevered, as the sun tends to do on the cloudiest of days. Suddenly, the beams were back, the grin spreading from cheek to cheek, the sass coming forth in every movement, and the goddess within bubbled forward, basking the entire studio in what can only be akin to the sun breaking over the horizon in the morning, casting it's glow on everything it touches. Miss B came alive right before my lens. I feel incredibly privileged to have gotten to know and experience Miss B and I can only imagine how grateful those who know her feel, when she casts her warmth and sunlight on them. Miss B wrote her own beautiful recount of her experience, in life and in her session because she knew it might be able to inspire just even ONE woman to feel differently....to feel empowered. Without further adieu, here she is:
I have always been a confident person, even when I had no right to be (hello 90’s? - Eek!). I’m not sure why but think it has to do with two things; I was the tallest, thickest girl in most of my classes growing up, so I accepted who I was early on and made no apologies for it. I was also lucky enough to have been raised by an incredible Mum and fabulous aunties who’d repeatedly tell me, “You can’t change the width of your shoulders or the size of your feet/You are beautiful inside and out - don’t be afraid to show the world who you are/Be fashionable, learn what flatters your body and walk tall/Size doesn’t determine worth.” This permission to be myself allowed me to flourish, to be kind, outgoing, intelligent, compassionate and confident.
On February 14, 2013 all of that changed. My husband and I were told that due to physician’s errors we’d never be able to have children. Utter devastation doesn’t even scratch the surface of how it affected us – me most of all. I am an only child and my husband is the only son with a partner. I placed the burden of carrying on both family lines directly on my shoulders and I felt I had failed myself, womankind, my husband, our parents and every antecedent that had ever lived. If I wasn’t going to be a Mum, what purpose did my life have? How could I face our families knowing I was such a disappointment? What did I have to live for? Through it all, my amazing husband would remind me, “I didn’t want to marry you so you would bear my children. I wanted to marry you because I knew I had to spend the rest of my life with you!” Coming from a very British upbringing where lips don’t quiver and you Carry On, I did my best to show a brave face to the rest of the world. We immediately started the process of adoption, went about our daily lives and fell apart in the privacy of our home.
Six months later my father died. The man who loved me unconditionally from the moment I took my first breath until the moment he took his last, was gone. Neither of us could do wrong in each other’s eyes and my decimation was complete. I totally gave up on life, on caring about myself and on hope. I felt worthless. I was reduced to nothing. I wailed and wallowed and grieved these deep losses for a long time. Through it all, my husband loved me, adored me, and reminded me that life was worth living. He still saw that spark of ME hidden under layers of sorrow that I thought was gone forever. Michael literally kept me alive.
Every Valentine’s Day for the last five years has been a shit show. We re-live that awful day in the doctor’s office and it casts a very dark shadow on what should be a wonderful celebration. This year I vowed to take the day back and made an appointment to see Teri. I was sick and tired of this sadness owning us and from now on, thanks to Teri, this date will be a celebration of us and of what we’ve survived together.
As I sat there during my reveal and saw these incredible images of myself, I was overcome with emotion. Yes! This is ME! While I watched my slideshow, tears streamed down my face, and with every blink I could see that Teri captured the Me I had lost, the Me my husband fell in love with and the Me the world used to know. I was shocked at how gorgeous I looked and yet felt a great swell of pride and confirmation as the hidden Me returned. When I started this process with Teri, I had convinced myself that this was going to be a gift for my husband and stand as a testament of our strength and love for each other. What I didn’t expect was that I fell in love with Me again.
Whether or not I become a mother, my life has meaning and purpose; to love those in my circle; to share my artistic gifts and bring joy to others; to be a light for everyone I meet and remind them that they have value. I accept what has been, live for what is and look forward to what will be.
This glorious babe has SO much love to give the world and I am so pleased that she stuck around to share some of her light with me. She also gave me the nickname Taco-Mama which I fucking love and am in the process of making a tshirt! Miss B, without a doubt, you are one of the most effervescent, brilliant women I have come to know and meet and I know you are going to move on, warming everyone with your beautiful light.
If you are interested in having your own self-love experience and uncovering that hidden light within, shoot me a message and let's have a chat!
I Look How You Want Me To Look ~ Winnipeg Boudoir Photography
(photo by Modern Love Studios)Now that 2017 is on it's way out, I figured it would be a good time to get my year end post done, but this one is going to be a bit different. Usually I recap all the amazing shoots that I have had throughout the year, but if you want to see a fraction of them, feel free to zip through the blog for 2017 and get an idea. Ever woman that graces my lens is incredibly amazing and worthy of mention, but since I don't want to keep you here for hours and hours on end, I am going to do something...new. 2017 is the year that I saw myself really step up in terms of photography education, and in an effort to get my name out there a bit more, I attended workshops, retreats, mentored, and more importantly made a lot of photographer connections. This year I had the pleasure of visiting a plethora of amazing boudoir photog friends and idols and in doing so, I was photographed multiple times throughout the year. I have waited until now to unveil all of the photos that I received from my talented peers because I wanted to wait until I wrapped the year. After being photographed as many times as I did this year, I realized something incredible about body image.....I will literally never know exactly how I look. I have been photographed by 4 different artists (and myself!) who interpreted me in a different way and as a photographer, I can tell you that that is how THEY see me. Some photographers brought out my sensual side, some my sexual side, some my bad ass side, some my soft side, some my rebellious side, my inner diva, my divine goddess, etc. No 2 sets of images are the same and I think this is the most incredible thing. I WILL LOOK HOW YOU WANT ME TO LOOK. Your perception of me will be based on your own body image, your life experiences, your view of the world and no matter how I try to change myself to adapt, I will never look ONE WAY to everyone....which is why I think it is ultimately ridiculous how we try to look ONE way, in an effort to appear "societally acceptable" when individuals make up society and will perceive you in their own way. People will choose to see your beauty or choose to find your flaws. Some people will find my rolls cute af, others will find my body appalling and disgusting. Neither is right or wrong. They are just perceptions (though I'm gonna side with the cute af) Some people will decide what is abhorrent about you, while others will decide that you are nothing but positive light. NEITHER OF THESE OPINIONS ARE RIGHT OR WRONG. They are simply their perception. I didn't go into these photoshoots with any expectations aside from excitement, positivity and joy. When I look at all of these photos together, and the collage of metal images I have on my wall at home, I am reminded that I am not one way and I can't possibly exist one way to everyone. Those who will choose to see what I do in myself: the strength, the passion, the creativity, the fire, and the goodness, are people I want to surround myself with going forward....and those that can't see beyond what they consider to be my flaws, problems, or disgusting bits are people I don't need to waste my precious energy on. I urge those of you reading this to GET YOUR PHOTO TAKEN AND GET YOUR PHOTO TAKEN OFTEN AND GET YOUR PHOTO TAKEN BY MANY PEOPLE. I want you to see the amazing bits of yourself that you don't even know exist. I will stop babbling now, and let you get to viewing my Nudie Judie photos below. Ps. if nips and bums offend you, gtfo of here.Fierce/Sexual Teri - courtesy of Modern Love StudiosDenise Birdsong made me feel so sexy and like a sexual goddess during my session. At first, I was nervous and felt I didn't think I could be "sexy" in the way she wanted me to be. This woman is the queen of emotion so I knew I had to bring it, but part of my problem is overthinking and wanting to be perfect instead of just immersing myself in the experience. I remember feeling like a horse getting ready to exit the gate, and Denise calmed me the fuck down. It was an awesome experience.
Glamorous Teri - Jennifer Williams BoudoirJennifer and I had met at a workshop a few years ago, so when we got back into the studio together to shoot each other in her Vancouver studio I was super excited. She has made a huge name for herself in the boudoir industry for her clean, luxurious, beautiful work and bad ass boss babe attitude. During my session with her, I felt so glamorous lying about on the soft pillows, expensive sheets, standing against her marble inspired wall. It was a true glam moment for me! (especially since I usually wear sweatpants and tshirts)
Playful, Sweet & Sensual Teri - Joi PhotographyCrystal and I had met at the very beginning of my boudoir journey at a retreat in San Diego and it was so amazing to catch up at her Saskatoon studio! Crystal has everything planned to the last detail and her attention to detail is what made my session feel flawless. I never felt uncomfortable once during our session (aside from physical discomfort from some of the poses, but I know to expect that bahaha....all my clients are laughing, because THEY KNOW....) When I saw the images, I almost cried because if you know me, soft is not a word I would use to describe myself (aside from physically haha!). But Crystal found my inner softness, sweetness, and flirt and I couldn't believe it. My favorite image of ever was taken at this shoot, the black and white nudie one with me by the window where you can see my tum and my bum. I love it. I went back later in the year and Crystal also did headshots for me which are also 100% accurate to me. This babe is incredible, so those of you in Saskatchewan, please go see her!!
Wild Teri ~ Boudie NationMiss Kristina and I met up in Vegas this year during WPPI and on one of our trips to the desert we photographed each other. Kristina is immensely talented at blending her subjects with nature (check out her amazing work) and when I saw these I was in LOVE. I have to give props to my friend Angelina for the use of the fur coat haha! But I fell in love with tum in these images and there is something so...liberating about hanging about naked and semi-naked in the desert off the highway. 
Rebel/Feisty Teri ~ Fearlessly You BoudoirPaige and I met during our shoots with Denise Birdsong (during a photography retreat) and we bonded immediately. We had flown down to Pittsburgh to hang out with our mutual boudy bestie Stephanie Wells and played in her studio while Steph was getting her makeup done. Paige took complete control and despite being the sweetest, kindest babe, this girl knows how to bring out feisty Teri. We had an amazing weekend and next year we are set to go play in HER studio so look forward to more images from Paige!
Sassy Pants Teri - Teri Hofford PhotographyThis year I have spent a lot of time focusing outside of myself on my business and growing the education side of things, so this was the first time I had done boudoir selfies all year, but it was a look I had wanted to do for awhile with someone else, so I just did it with myself instead. I think these images do a good job of showcasing how I view myself. Selfies are something that can make or break a person's confidence, but thankfully I had done a year of self portraits so I knew that it literally does take like 10 photos to get 1 good one and even then it's not AS good as how someone else could take it unless you practice a lot. My goal for next year is to do a monthly session with myself to remind myself that I am worth the time, the energy and taking off the sweatpants for.
So what can you look forward to in 2018? Well, stay tuned for the next blog post to outline the plans, changes, and updates to Teri Hofford Photography! Thank you to everyone who has been part of my journey, whether you are a photographer, client, vendor, family member, friend, even the trolls (they usually give me good fodder for the blog). Without your love and positivity, guidance, support, and sharing of the stuff, I would not be able to empower as many women as I currently am. Words will never be enough for me to show gratitude for those that share my words, my images, my mission with their friends and family. YOU are causing change. YOU are powerful. Thank YOU.
Manties{3 Girls 1 Challenge} ~ Winnipeg Boudoir Photographer
Every month or so, my boudy friends and I challenge each other to get creative and eventually we will have a website dedicated to our projects, but for now we are hosting them here until 2018! The theme for our most recent challenge was "manties" or male underwear used as panties! I realized very quickly that if I was going to purchase these, I couldn't just buy ONE pair, no, I had to buy a pack of 6 so if anyone wants to wear these for their shoot, lemme know! Last night, we finally revealed our images to each other and it was so cool to see how each of us created art from the same outfit. It's so important to stay creative when "being creative" is your job, so these challenges help fuel the fun! It's interesting because we each have our "thing"...for example, I am a classic overachiever. The goal was to shoot the manties once, but I had to wait for them to get their shoots done and I was bored, so I shot both Kiana AND Raissa in similar, but slightly different styled shoots. Paige kept hers clean and minimalist, with a bit of a cheeky bit at the end, and Steph opted for self-portraits and rocked the shit out of the manties in an intimate lifestyle session! Check out below, for each photographer and how they interpreted the challenge:Paige Rynberg: Fearlessly You Boudoir
Stephanie Wells: The Girlfriend Experience Boudoir
Teri Hofford: Teri Hofford Photography
She Was Lost For A Long Time ~ Winnipeg Boudoir Photographer
Miss J is another of my babely Glambassadors, a babe who struggled for a wee bit to find the woman that had gone missing for a few years. Her submission for the Glambassador position had me in tears and so did her recap of her experience with me. I am going to let her take over now, because she can explain it way better than I ever could, but let me just say that this woman is on a mission to change the way women and girls see themselves and when she talks about it, she sparkles from the inside.
On October 7th, 2017 I went and did something...SOMETHING HUGE!
For anyone that knows me they know that I am pretty much the girl next door. I am not fancy,and pretty simple in the way I wear my makeup and dress. I am a Momma, a wife, a friend... Iam the one that listens, helps, comforts and nurtures anyone and everyone that needs it. That’s pretty much me in a nutshell.
I have been lost for a long time. The woman that I was was long since gone. I don’t know where or when it exactly happened. Perhaps a little bit, day by day, week by week and year by year as little pieces of who I was were stripped away. It took me watching my children grow to start to see how much of myself I had lost.
I knew I wanted my children to grow up with a Momma with a strong sense of self-love and identity. One that is happy, healthy, confident and comfortable in her own skin. Trust me it wasn’t easy to cut out the negative inner self-talk. However, I knew that I never wanted them to hear me utter one word of negativity because it would kill me to hear them speak of themselves in that way. So I made a choice to stop and never start again.
Part of this journey led me to discover Teri Hofford Photography. Being a lover of photography and a passionate hobby photographer myself, I was instantly drawn to her work. She has this incredible way of capturing people. I love how creative her sessions are and how she captured every body type in flattering ways using shadow and light. Shortly after that I discovered her private group and enjoyed watching her share her love of all things positive and empowering. I love how passionate Teri is and how she makes it her personal goal to help women fall in love with themselves again, and strives to build women up by seeing the beauty in everyone.
Anyone that is in the group knows that you cannot help but feel like you know Teri even if you haven’t met her. She just has this way about her. Teri is real...like what you see is what you get, there is nothing fake about her and I love that.
One day, I happened to be online when I saw her posting a search for Glambassadors. She was looking for people to share her brand and message. I think I looked at this posting a half a dozen times before I decided to apply on a lark because "why would she pick me?". I am just an average woman. I’m not a model and I’m middle-aged. You know, just a 'Regular Joe' so to speak. Imagine my shock when I received an email in my inbox saying I had been selected. Seriously, I was like WHAT?! This cannot be right!? I must have read that email a halfa dozen times. Part of me was like shit, why did I go and do that? And then part of me was like YES! This is going to be AMAZING!
The thing I hadn’t realized at first was that as a Glambassador I was to do a session with her. Well, sure I had toyed with the idea of doing one....maybe at some point in the very distant future...LOL. Well... Teri is Teri and when she gets going on a project it goes full steam ahead! In just a short time she had gathered the team of Glambassadors together and she was booking us for our private sessions. Honestly, I still wasn’t sure what hell I had gotten myself into as I sat alongside all of these stunning and amazing women.
Here I was now one month out from my session and seriously freaking the hell out. I must have gone back and forth on what to wear at least a hundred times. I finally messaged Teri and shesaid, just relax, it’s not about the clothes...It’s about you. She told me not to worry and that she would find the perfect thing in the Boudy Closet for me to wear. So, with that being said, I did my best to put my fear aside and let my outfit obsessing go. I put my trust in her.
The day of my session I was a wreck but did my best to hide it. I am sure Teri could tell, although she never said either way. I was still second guessing my decision to do the session even as I walked in the door. It was like an internal armageddon going on in my brain...LOL. I didn’t think I could do it, yet there was another part of me that was yelling, DO IT! I was a bag of emotions, butterflies of excitement and absolute fear.
Teri was her fabulous self, of course, and that put me a bit more at ease. The first thing I did was pull out the possible outfits that I brought with me and laid them out for Teri's perusal. Then we were off down the hallway headed to hair and makeup with the incredibly talented, Kylie. Seriously, this gal is amazing! Having never had my makeup done professionally before this was quite the experience. Kylie told me she had been instructed to do my makeup like that of a 'Victoria Secret' model. This gave me an inner giggle as there is no way in hell I am anything like a lingerie model let alone a Victoria Secretone. When my makeup was done I was blown away. I hardly recognized myself. It was me, only sexier. I was seriously feeling glamourous now. I am not sure why but Marilyn Monroe seemed to keep popping into my mind. I had always loved her sense of style and the confidence she always seemed to exude in photos. Anyways, now, it was time for the scary part...outfits and pictures! Ack!!!!
Heading back into the main studio, Teri and I chatted about my first outfit and the items I had chosen to bring. Teri pointed out that I had brought a lot of ‘Mom Clothing’...LOL, she was not wrong. Upon looking at it again. I realized she was right, but the whole situation was outside my norm and comfort zone. I typically wear yoga pants, tank tops, and activewear jackets. Now in sports terms, this moment would be considered: GO TIME!
It was indeed my GO TIME and I was now moving full speed ahead in my bra and panties, hoping not to crash, trip or make an absolute fool of myself. I swear my heart was beating so fast, I would be amazed if Teri didn’thear it. My palms were cold and sweaty and I kept thinking,“Oh my God, can I do this? Will I beable to pose right? Will I look super weird?”
Seriously, so many stupid things were going through my mind. I knew I needed to focus so I did my best to channel the music that was playing and Teri's instructions. My goal now was to show Teri that I could do this and do it well. The first few poses started happening. Teri was fluid, she showed me what to do, she guided me, had me relax and breathe, she made me laugh. I closed my eyes and followed her guidance and with each click of the camera, I began to grow more relaxed. Teri was in her zone, her confidence and ease began to become my own.
As the session progressed and outfits changed and clothing disappeared. I didn’t really notice it anymore. Teri was so right, this session was less about the clothing and all about me, my body and love of self. I know this may sound silly and strange but I cannot explain what happened that morning other than to say I changed. I became more and more comfortable and confident in myself, my movements and my body. By the end of the session I was confident, strong and powerful.
Was I feeling scared or uneasy? Unattractive? Unworthy? Was I worried about my mommy tummy, stretch marks, and my scars? The answer was...
No. I had one feeling and one feeling alone...Freedom. I was finally free. Free from all of it.
The emotional weight of all of the mountains of feelings that I had carried with me each and every day for years, the judgment and over thinking, the worry & self-doubt, the wonder of who I am underneath it all. I could finally see ME. I could feel ME. I was there. I was real. I was raw. I was beautiful!
I had finally been found!
