While this post may be better suited for my other page, iammorethanjustabody.com, the website isn't up yet, so you get to hear about it here. There has been a lot of chatter on my photography page and within my VIP group in regards to body positivity and all that jazz, especially since I posted the advertisement below, so I thought I would expand on my feels in this post.
I was called out by a fellow photographer for "not really promoting body positivity" with this ad because it features a relatively muscular man. So, first of all, the ad was NOT looking for men of all body types, but rather for someone who wants to photograph men, so the dude in the photo is just there for an example of the kind of work that I do. Secondly, body image is not reserved for the unfit only. Let me say it again: BODY IMAGE IS NOT RESERVED FOR THE UNFIT ONLY. Men like to feel bad ass, hot af, and feel confident so I am not to say who is or isn't allowed to enjoy a body positive experience. While I tried to get these points across to the gentleman that decided to hijack my post, he still remained pretty certain that only "fat" people can be body positive. Sigh.
Body positivity & self image are extremely personal, so with the intent put on "fixing society" we are never, ever going to accomplish this. This is like assigning a colored t-shirt to a particular day in an effort to "fix the problem" but in fact, people continue to bully because the problem is not the color of the shirt a bully wears, it's in their mental attitude. So, when it comes to fixing society to stop marginalizing certain groups, we literally have to start within ourselves and become the leaders and champions of our own lives, which in turn will inspire others. Is this easy? God, no. Is it worth it? Of course.
So, what does this mean? This means that if I, as a person OF society, want to make a change in the way body image is perceived, then I have to start with myself. Why is it okay for me to call myself disgusting, but as soon as someone else does it, SOCIETY needs to change? If every person did the inner work necessary to heal themselves and get to the root of their problems there would probably be a lot less hatred in the world. But people don't. Because it's hard. If we stopped pushing ourselves down, then maybe we could move forward from all of this bullshit.
Something I refer to a lot in my talks, is that women ARE to blame. Who keeps buying the magazines that tell us we look and feel like shit, so buy this product to feel/be/look better? We do! 85% of the diet industry is funded by women hoping for a quick fix to achieve an "idealistic body". So, yah, when we say it's society that's the problem...it is...because society is US.
When I stated that body positivity was not reserved for fat people, I had a few people speak up about how while it is not reserved for fat people, it came about due to the fat acceptance movement. My interpretation of that comment was that because the fat acceptance movement played a part in body positivity, it means that fat people should have the recognition for it, so when promoting body positive things we should showcase "fat people". But body image goes way beyond size, shape and so on. Body image encompasses how each individual perceives himself/herself within society (whether or not it is a factual representation of their body, it is their PERCEPTION) and bodies are made up of more than just fat and skin. It just seems that our preoccupation with body image in this day and age is surrounding sizeism. The fat acceptance movement didn't really happen until a few years ago, but I believe there were people fighting for body positivity well before then: people fighting for skin color and the right to be seen as equal, people fighting for gender equality and the right to be seen as equal, and people fighting for disability rights and the right to be seen as equal, etc. All of these things started LONG before the fat acceptance movement, and were different aspects of BODY IMAGE & EMBRACING A PERSON'S IDENTITY. I am certainly not taking away from the work that the fat acceptance movement has provided in terms of body positivity in the most recent years, but I think that we need to understand that by making it seem as though body positivity has to do with size only, we are neglecting the other marginalized groups of people and disrespecting the people that are perceived as being "normal" to society when they do have body image issues.
The thing, I think we forget, is that we all come to the table with our own "glasses" on. Essentially, the way we have always seen our lives, the way we look at our pasts, the way we compare ourselves and others, etc. will play a big part on how our body image reflects in our minds. (Again, this is why it's a personal thing). For example, someone who is 105 lbs and suddenly gains 30lbs due to an unknown reason, may find themselves comparing their new body to an old one and will probably feel fat. So, to this person, she may think of herself as fat, but to someone like me who is 250lbs I would be more inclined to tell her otherwise. But again, I CANNOT TELL SOMEONE HOW THEY SHOULD OR SHOULD NOT FEEL.
Then people say "HEY! Fat isn't a bad word" and this is correct. But, what has happened is that we have conditioned ourselves to use the word fat as an umbrella term in place of how we actually feel. For example, perhaps you eat a lot of salty pizza and lots of ice cream (which is delicious in the moment!), but then the next day you feel bloated and uncomfortable. We would standardly say "uuuuuugh...I'm having a fat day" when in fact you KNOW you can't possibly have gained fat that quickly, but instead you are probably feeling: lethargic, bloated, uncomfortable, dehydrated, maybe guilty because you have an unhealthy relationship with food, etc. but we sum that up with "FAT" because that is what WE, as society, have bought into. Every time we watch a commercial, read a magazine, or scroll through our newsfeeds we have reminders telling us how shitty we must feel when we are "fat" and if we don't stop to critically think where those messages are coming from, we internalize it and then believe it as true, and we continue to spend the money on the establishments that "promises to save us" from ourselves.
So, I got a bit off topic there, but I needed to explain that body positivity is for EVERY body. I cannot tell someone who is 10lbs thinner than me that they are not allowed to be body positive because they aren't as fat as me. That just doesn't make sense to the phrase BODY POSITIVE. I cannot tell someone if they fall into the fat category or not, because that would be just as terrible as going to the doctor and telling them you have to "fit into this particular category" in order to be deemed healthy (and this fatty know how shitty that feels). As a boudoir photographer and body image activist it is NOT my place to determine someone's level of body image acceptance. 
If someone comes to me and tells me they have struggled with their body image their whole life and they are 110lbs I am not going to say "Girl, you have nothing to worry about" because she DOES have something to worry about...she has to worry about the unhealthy relationship that she is having with her body and that it is resulting in preventing her from understanding her worth because her confidence is so low. She has to be concerned that over 13 times a day she is saying negative shit to herself that further compounds her feelings. She has to worry that she is developing an eating disorder because she feels she is "not allowed" to talk about her body image issues because of her petite size. My job as a body image activist is not to turn her away because she "isn't fat enough"...it's to embrace, understand, and be an ally to her as she works on herself to understand that even though her body IS good enough, her body is only a fraction of the awesome equation that makes her her. If a woman weighs 210lbs+ and and says she hates her body, I am going to give her 100% of the same treatment, respect, and understanding. It is not my place to tell someone how they can and cannot feel about their bodies, nor should it be yours.
We, as individuals, can only work from within and work on ourselves. We can critically think about the mass messages and not buy into the shit we are being fed. We can stop buying waist trainers, cosmetic surgery procedures, and products that are aimed to "fix" us...because as a business owner I know, that if there is no $$ coming in, you will go out of business---supply and demand and all that. The only way to change society is to ultimately focus on yourself...are you being judgemental? Are you pushing other people down to help yourself? Are you buying products in an effort to increase your self worth? Are you sharing memes online that promote shaming in any capacity? Or are you calling people out for doing this sort of shit? I promise that once you start to focus on your own contribution to society, you will start to see that the change may actually begin with you.
After that long-winded explanation this is why I firmly believe that body positivity is for every body and should not be reserved for a certain "type." Essentially, in order for us to change the society that we curse so much, we must look within ourselves and start the change from there. After all, as Ghandi says "Be the change, you wish to see in the world."
The Price of Doing a Boudoir Session ~ Winnipeg Boudoir Photographer
Boudoir is quickly becoming more and more popular among the masses and I couldn't be happier about this. You see, boudoir photography has been around for ages, but prior to about 5 years, it was very much focused on gifting photos of your body to your significant other. While I don't necessarily have a problem with this, I do have a problem with the fact that when women started to do it for themselves, they received a lot of push back, being told they were narcissistic, "should cover up", and other various phrases that make me a bit ragey. It drives me nuts, because it's okay for women to be oggled and seen as beautiful by someone else, but as soon as she sees that within herself it is too far? Wtf.
We also know that there are a rising number of boudy photogs all over the world with a variety of different prices, styles, experience etc. but at the end of the day, boudoir photography IS a luxury experience and therefore, a luxury investment and you want to make sure that you are getting everything you want out of your session. While the dollar cost is up to you, I want to talk about the REAL cost of boudoir photography from a client AND boudoir specialist viewpoint and set some expectations as to what will be expected of YOU as a client.
1. TimeI know it sounds silly, but you will need to be ready to invest in taking time for yourself, and as a sister to a mom with three babes, I know that it can be hard for women to make time for themselves. Sessions with us range from 3-5 hours and the reveal another 45 minutes to an hour, and in the grand scheme of things, you may not think that that is a lot of time, but try asking a mom with a toddler to take a 30 second pee break....it ain't happening. So, if you are wanting to do a boudoir session, be prepared to take time for yourself (I promise I won't interrupt your time by tugging on your shirt and telling you when I poop).
2. VulnerabilityThis is one of the hardest things for people to be and we ask for a lot of it during your sessions. We will ask you to tell us your why, get you to talk about your real feels about your body & view of yourself, and we will ask you to literally and figuratively bare yourself to us. In exchange, we will get vulnerable with you. We will tell you OUR struggles, experiences, and let you know that you are not alone. We will also ask you to sit in front of a big screen TV and watch intimate photos of yourself, which can be slightly scary, but we are there with you every step of the way. There are hundreds of women of all sizes, shapes, and backgrounds that come to us with their own stories and we absolutely love that, but the one thing they all have in common is that they are ready to get vulnerable with us.
3.TrustThis is another thing people have a hard time doing. Every time a woman sits down in her consultation, I can see the fear that I might not be able to deliver her expectations (thankfully, I'm a cocky fuck who accepts this challenge). It can be a hard thing trusting someone to help you see yourself the way you want to be seen, and I appreciate every woman that has given me the chance to photograph, chat with, and help them through understanding that while they are beautiful, their looks aren't the best thing about them. Trusting your photographer is probably one of the biggest "taxes" one has to pay when doing a boudoir session, but when you do, you reap the benefits big time!
4. ControlI find that about 50% of my clients are more than happy to let me take the reigns, but the other 50% are fearful about letting go and I find this sometimes relates back to #2 & #3 above. I always let my clients know that I would prefer you to give me everything you've got, because A) you will never see the "bad" photos and B) you are here to get in touch with yourself. Usually after about 20 minutes the 50% that like their control, will loosen up because I am dedicated to helping you get in touch with your bad ass self, but I promise the further you go with it, the more epic your images will be. Also, we are artists before anything else, so the more control you give us the more artistic and emotional your images will be...hold back and you will get duplicated images that have no real emotion behind it. Essentially: give it up, we know what we're doing.
5.NudityI know it sounds a little creepy that a tax you pay to doing a boudoir session is that you have to show your naughty bits, but honestly isn't that why you are here in the first place? Wanting to know what it feels like to get nudie, explore your body in a judgement free zone, and experience the freedom of being a sensual, bad ass woman? Now, not all photographers will ask you to go completely naked, but if you come see me, I will. So this is an expectation I set with all my boudy babes and why I do consultations beforehand. Here we believe that your body is the only vessel you will be provided in this lifetime and it has probably gotten you through a lot of shit, so it deserves some love and pampering too. Also, though it can be daunting, I personally find that most clients are more comfortable completely naked than they are with lingerie.
6.ChangeLastly, the acceptance of change is something that will be necessary when you do a session. What I mean by this, is that you must be ready to accept that you are a bad ass, fearless, confident, and babely woman and stop telling yourself the fucking lies that we all have been known to tell ourselves. If you aren't ready for the possibility of change, then a boudoir session probably isn't for you. We all know that change is scary and it's scary because it essentially is an accumulation of all the above. We always associate with "change" with a negative outcome, questioning our desires and answering with our worst fears. The "what ifs" take over and so we never move beyond our comfort zone...doing a boudoir session WILL require you to change (but I promise it will be one of THE MOST POSITIVE experiences of your life).
So, whether you decide to spend a lot or a little bit of dollars on your boudoir experience, I urge you to find a photographer that will be able to fulfill the other cost requirements: someone who is trustworthy, excited and passionate to help you move forward in your journey to celebrating your size & goddess-like nature, someone who will give you permission to take time for yourself, someone who will gently coax you outside your comfort zone (or push you, haha), and someone who is confident to take control when you are in such a vulnerable situation. It's important that lines of communication are open between you and your photographer and just like dating, not every client will be for every photographer and vice versa. Find someone who gets YOU. And if that person happens to be me, shoot me an email and we will be more than happy to set up a consultation!
Playtime {inspiration session} ~ Winnipeg Boudoir Photography
Miss J and I got together over the holidays to play in the studio. There was really no expectation aside from dress, have fun, and see what happens. Take a look below at the beauty we captured during one of 2016's final boudoir sessions!
2016 Wrap Up ~ Winnipeg Boudoir Photographer
Last day of 2016 and I am, not shockingly, hanging out in my studio writing this bad ass post. I procrastinated it a bit this year, but a lot of things changed in 2016, so should this tradition, I guess! Instead of recapping every single session that I did this year (there were WAAAAY too many to put into a blog post) I wanted to highlight the sessions and experiences that refocused me, challenged me, excited me and helped propel my business to where it is today! So, let's get going on this bad boy. (Just a reminder that if I DON'T mention your session here, it's not that it didn't mean anything to me, because every woman and client has their own stories that tear at my heart. These are just the ones that stand out the most in this moment!)1)The Session that affected me the most: She Fell In Love With Herself with Miss S.
This beauty's session affected me by showing me just how powerful a session (and my persistence) could be. Not one, but 2 consultations later this babe found herself showing off her glorious bits in my studio, but it was during her reveal that I remember just how much her session had impacted her. She was afraid to look at the images, fearful that she might hate what she saw, but instead she fell in love with herself all over again. Miss S reminded me of why I do what I do and who I do it for. From our first meeting where her arms were crossed to her reveal where she hugged me almost 5 times, we both were changed, realizing that she was capable of being so fucking sexy this whole time. Since then, she has done another session with us and is one of the most empowering, fearless, confident, strong women I know and I am extremely proud to call her my friend.2) The Boudy Babe responsible for inspiring me to do more: She Hated Her Photos with Miss S.
When I finished my shoot with this Miss S, I was creatively exhausted which is the sign of amazingness in a shoot. As I edited her images, I was blown away by how awesome she did. I was so excited to do her reveal. During her reveal she was quieter than most (which isn't completely uncommon), but her husby was there and he was fucking blown away by her gorgeousness. It wasn't until I got her shoot follow up questionnaire back that I found out the whole truth. She had hated what she saw in the photos...and while she stated it had nothing to do with the images, it had everything to do with the relationship she had with herself it still hurt my heart. Now, I am confident enough in my work to know this was one of my best shoots to date, but I realized that SOME clients (probably 3-5%) require more than just ONE photoshoot to help them see themselves as the bad ass babes that everyone else does. This was the shoot that was the driving force behind Body Image Bootcamp and our new Empowered Education site: iammorethanjustabody.com where we provide resources, education, talks, and a variety of other things for babes to work on healing their relationships with themselves. So, thank you to Miss S, for sharing her truth with me and an update, since getting her album Miss S has started to see what everyone else knew all along. By looking at herself a little bit every day until gifting the album to her husby at his birthday party, she saw her beauty.3)The shoot that pushed me creatively: When in Vegas with Miss A & Miss J
Oh man, Vegas was aaaaamazing. I love surrounding myself with like-minded people and it was during my time in Vegas, that I got to explore my Sassy-Ellen Von Unwerth-inspired-style of shooting! This shoot pushed me creatively because we were running out of light and I had to make due with what I had, but I also had to use my off camera flash (which I haven't really used except for weddings) which was new for me. We styled up this entire session and it was the first time I incorporated any types of sex toy props which was actually a lot of fun (and now I have a fancy collection of floggers, whips, handcuffs, etc.). After doing this session, I realized I needed to do fun stuff like this more often just to push the boundaries a little bit. Ps. I am heading back to Vegas in February if anyone wants to do a kick ass shoot!4) The shoot that exhausted me creatively: Get Outside with Miss J.
For this session, Jill and I headed out to our friend Tamara's gorgeous acreage to explore, do some sessions, and talk to her about some ideas we had. We literally spent the entire day shooting outside, exploring the fabulous variety and lush natural beauty of Tamara's place. We shot a number of different outfits and by the end of the day, both of us were extremely exhausted, but it reminded me of the importance of being inspired by a new environment and the utter joy that comes with looking for new ways of shooting on the spot. This entire day is one of the highlights of 2016.5) The session I finally did: Cherry with Miss J.
Since we are on the topic of Jill, I figured we would land on this one. I have had this idea in my head for at least 2 years and kept making excuses as to why I "couldn't" do it. Since 2016 was my year of "take a chance and just fucking do it", I finally made it happen. Jill and I scoped out the sketchiest motel we could find, grabbed the outfits, collaborated with Nicole & Kelly to make the style perfect.6) The client who made me see the other side: Too Much of This, Not Enough of That with Miss C.
Miss C came to me over a year ago, but working with her through 2016 I became more aware of eating disorders and how it can affect someone. She brought me the perspective of someone on the opposite end of the spectrum of myself, showcasing that regardless of someone's size they still can experience dissatisfaction with their bodies. I always knew this, but it's important to showcase it. You never know what someone is experiencing so before you pass judgement, say anything critical, maybe think twice and consider your own circumstances.7) The project that let me get something off my well endowed chest: An Open Letter to Addition-Elle
The fabulous babes that came out to help me showcase that the dolls who ACTUALLY wear Addition-Elle lingerie, looking fucking fierce so why are we being shown size 12-14 models, helped me tick this one off my photoshoot checklist! I felt better just meeting these ladies and talking about their feels about the marketing.8) All the traveling sessions!!
2016 took me a lot of places: Portland, Las Vegas, Calgary, Vancouver, Omaha, the Carribean, New York, Regina, Ottawa & Toronto to name a few. I am excited on expanding upon this list in 2017 as I travel, doing photoshoots, teaching workshops, attending workshops, and attending conferences and learning ALL the things!! Any place you think I should go?
So, darling lovelies! Thank you for sticking with me yet another year and supporting the work I do! My goals and desires for 2017 include:Photographing & empowering 100 bad ass babesDonating $5000 to FGWRCImproving & expanding the iammorethanjustabody.com website & empowered education siteTravel to: Las Vegas, Regina, Montreal, Chicago, Omaha, New York, San Fran, San Diego, Vancouver, and Texas.....Teach 3-5 workshops alongside Lindsay Rae PhotographyFinish my bookFind balance between work & my health by delegating to my amazing teamLive fearlessly and try everything that I want to....stop talking about it and actually DO IT.Public speak at at least 2 gigs
I am sure as the year goes on I will add to this list, but my biggest wish for 2017 is that I empower women who will go on to empower women and help create a global movement of bad ass babes who want to focus on their goals and dreams instead of spending their energy on hating themselves. I would love to hear what your dreams, ideas, and plans for the New Year! If you want to share, tag me in your FB posts or instagram posts!! In the meantime, I wish all of you bad ass babes a happy New Years day and I cannot stress how amazed I am at the fearlessness demonstrated by every gorgeous woman that stripped down both physically and emotionally for me during 2016. I can't wait to meet new babes in 2017 and see past babes as they top up their confidence cup with future shoots! Stay tuned for the next blog post outlining what you can look forward to from Teri Hofford Photography in 2017!!
She Thought She Wasn't Fucking Good Enough ~ Winnipeg Boudoir Photographer
Miss R.'s shoot was a first for me. She booked her session in the morning (not uncommon).....OF HER WEDDING (uncommon!) How cool is that? While she was getting married that day, the intent for her session had very little to do with her lucky partner...it was all about her! Her post after she saw her photos had me in tears. She. Was. Amazing.
Of course I thought she was awesome, and I absolutely love that she fully trusted me to do whatever I wanted with her, but I am going to let this hottie tell you what the experience meant to her, because at the end of the day it's never about me...it's always, always, ALWAYS about HER.
I got back from my reveal session with Teri Hofford Photography and I just wanna say... Wow.
I decided on a boudoir empowerment session for myself because I had too much issues with hating myself and the way my body's current state is. I'm in the process of transitioning to reach my goal, but I want to be able to actually love myself without a doubt to actually see myself in a different light. There are various times when I don't get as much likes on a photo, having a shitty day, or do something mentally exhausting where I just wanna say "I'm not fucking good enough!" Or "I'm ugly," "I'm too fat," "Nobody wants to see all that," or in general fear that I'd be bullied more about my looks than I was in high school. Since I seen what she's been doing out there to help build body positivity with women out there, I decided to go for it for myself for me. Being someone with anxiety, it's hard to see myself as more than enough. Sure the hubby might check out the end results and stuff, but HE SEES ME EVERY DAY SO ANYTHING HE SAYS I THINK IS BULL CRAP WHEN HE COMPLIMENTS ME.
I was nervous as hell in the beginning because of my white sheet session, but when I got into it I felt more confident with little I was wearing (sexy outfit, done up hair, and fierce makeup).
When I got there today, I was excited in going but at the same time having doubts in myself to see if i actually looked good or not. Having a surge of anxiety, a lot of thoughts in my head like "what if they're not as good as I was hoping?" "My booty probably won't look that good," "My boobies only look good from some angles," "I have really bad skin (keratosis pilaris + stretchmarks), I'm afraid ... they would ruin the pic."
She sat me down, showed me a beautiful sildeshow that I was holding back my waterworks because... After seeing the first few I was like, "Oh damn, I'M FIERCE AS FUCK! I'm fierce as fuck no matter what size I am." And that's the kind of image I want to remind myself of that I am me, THAT IS ME! WOW! And some of these pics are way too hot for Facebook. Lmao!!! Heck I even thought I had a nice pair! I was wowed and I'm still wowed!
Definitely worth it, if you're struggling to see yourself in the way others see you in a positive light... GO SEE TERI! The journey is real!!!
Ready to change your view of YOURSELF for 2017? Hit the contact button above to get the deets on your own epic empowerment session!