I think my makeup artist Nicole said it best when she told Miss K "It's like you have happiness shining out of you." This gorgeous woman bounded into my studio with such excitement that it couldn't be held in. Her infectious smile, sparkly personality, and sassy self definitely fit the "boudy vibe" and I knew that for her it was going to be important that she saw herself as a sexy woman. She kept saying she "didn't know how to be sexy" (If I had a dollar for every time a boudy babe uttered those words....) I also advised her that for some people, smiling IS sexy. I think we have this stupid idea of what sexy is, but it (like most things dictated by "society") is bullshit. Sexy is you in your most natural, unapologetic, confident state. Anyhow, I will let Miss K take over the blog now, with her feels about boudoir. I love this babe.
At first I was rather nervous to do the shoot wth Teri as its something outside of my comfort zone as I was (not so much anymore) self conscious about my body. Growing up as a bigger kid those feelings of self consciousness don't go away and tend to linger regardless of working out a fair amount and losing weight it's hard to shake those negative self thoughts that you've had for such a long time.
The only thing i regret is doing my consult so early from the shoot as I was dying from excitement waiting over two months to do the actual shoot. The day of the shoot itself I was certainly nervous but after some delightful directions from Teri and tons of laughter I definitely became more confident and comfortable!! No second thoughts when she asked "Sooo you wanna do some topless pictures" or "do you want to get naked now" it was just yup! Let's do it!
Throughout the actual shoot as well Teri just makes you feel so amazing. It literally pumped my confidence and self love so much I'm almost still bursting!
AND THEN THE REVEAL!! That had to be the hardest 3 and a half minutes of my life looking at all those pictures and seeing myself in another light - I am gorgeous. Amazing. Confident and no longer care to or want to strive to be anything but myself and love the body I have the way it is. I can't thank Teri enough for being such an amazing eye opening support and laughing with me, passing me the tissues whilst crying like a blubbering baby and for aiding me in my self love quest!
Miss K also showed her images to her momma and here is what Mama K had to say:"LOVE YOU and I must say, I’m very proud of you, Kasia – you are very beautiful – inside and out and I rejoice in your discovery of you!!! I say that from my heart not just because I’m your Mam!!!"I asked Miss K if I could share her images and her story, not only because they are beautiful, but also because I think it is important for people to realize that women of ALL sizes struggle with body image and feeling okay with themselves. We are all just trying to fit into these stupid boxes that the world tries to put us in (even though regardless of how much weight we lose, gain, or change, we will just be forced into another box) and I think that the more women take the time to show themselves some self love they will start to realize that they ARE enough and all along they WERE enough...and the people that can't get on board with that?...well, they can just fuck off.
She Hated Her Photos { Vegas Diaries} ~ Winnipeg Boudoir Photography
This is one post I have been dying to share with you. Miss S met up with me in Vegas and it was destiny! She told her man friend that she was going to be "doing makeup" for one of my boudoir clients (which she was...as she did her own makeup) and so he dropped her off at my suite at the MGM Grand. After he said goodbye, Miss S and I got to work. MAN! This girl could pose and work her face like nobody's business. I knew that she was no stranger to the stage, so that definitely helped her when it came to taking direction. In my mind, this was one of my best shoots to date. Everything was amazing. So, you can imagine my reaction when I received her testimonial telling me that she "hated her photos". What. The. Fuck. Where had I gone wrong? Could she not see what I did? Could she not see how amazing she did? How confident she looked, how she posed and how she rocked her shoot? Unfortunately, she could not. And this is the part where my heart broke into a thousand pieces. I always tell clients that a boudoir session is not the "quick fix" to repairing a negative body image, but it does help in getting there. It takes clients like Miss S to remind me that there is still so much work to be done. It mostly hurts my heart and my soul to hear these wonderful women disregard themselves and pick themselves apart when they are so much more than just those bits. Anyhow, I am going to let Miss S. take you on the journey of her feels for the rest of the blog post.
My photo shoot with Teri was an eye opening experience. I'd been talking myself into boudoir photos for ages and was hiding behind the "in 5 more lbs" and "when I'm more toned" mentality. When she posted that she was going to be in Vegas and it happened to coincide with when my husband and I were going to be there I took the Universe's hint and finally booked.
To be honest taking the actual photos was the easy part for me; I've spent most of my life in performance and so I actually found being directed and photographed pretty easy. Before I knew it we were done and I left feeling surprised with myself at how well I had done. As the days drew nearer to my reveal I started to get anxious.
The anxiety I'd expected to feel pre-shoot. It's one thing to have my picture taken and walk away, it's another to look at them. Finally the day came and my husband sat in awe as we looked through all my photos. We chose our package and left and I kept my opinion to myself but if we're being honest: I hated them.
Teri says to look at the photos as if it were a best friend but I just couldn't. Staring back at me was every blaring imperfection. Every bump, soft spot, pore, you name it. The photos didn't feel like me: I'm not sexy. At all. It was awkward for me but I didn't want to say anything. People always post about how empowered they feel after a reveal and it made me feel awful. I felt like I'd failed Teri. (She didn't btw)
Almost immediately after my reveal my cat got sick and the money we'd put aside for the album was used for her. So, very slowly (and without my husbands knowledge) I paid it off with the idea that I would give it to my hubby for his birthday. I felt disappointed in myself for not working harder before the shoot but a commitment is a commitment. I received the album 2ish weeks before the birthday and kept it at work so my husband wouldn't find it.
Everyday I took a second to flip through the album and challenged myself to find one or two photos I liked. By the time I gave it to my husband I was feeling the tiniest pang of excitement over them. At the very least, looking at them doesn't make me feel uncomfortable anymore.
I want to be clear about something: this is why we need Teri (and women like her). Her artistry is amazing, her eye is impeccable. She's not only a master of her craft but she's loving and supportive in a way I've never experienced. Me not liking my photos has absolutely zero to do with her and everything to do with how I see myself. While this photo shoot didn't change how I view my reflection in a massive way, every time I look through my album a crack shows up in that mirror.
I look forward to my next shoot with Teri (and I'm determined there will be a next time) so that over time I will be able to feel as beautiful and sexy as those photos make me seem. If you've every considered a boudy shoot do it. Message this gorgeous gal and just do it. It may not seem like it but that album was a life changing moment for me and while I may not be feeling like the bombshell she keeps telling me I am, I'm convinced that there will be a day when I sit down for a reveal and go "holy fuck, I look hot".Women like Miss S are why I do what I do and do it with such passion. I applaud her honesty and sharing her story because I want future clients to know that if they do not see themselves as they are in the photos, to tell me about it. I will not be upset. I am confident enough in my work to know that I created some awesome images, BUT it is important to me that we talk through feelings of self-doubt, insecurities, and body image issues. In addition to the photography, my studio is a safe place for us to discuss your body image and feels and if you don't feel like you match the images, that is something we definitely need to chat about because I want to help with the journey. After a variety of projects, I also realize that repetition and exposure to images makes people see themselves in a more positive way. A lot of times women have already made up their mind that they are going to hate their photos....BEFORE They even see them, so of course they are going to be uncomfortable with them. BUT my experience has proven that repeated viewing of the images makes individuals start to see themselves a bit more like the rest of the world does. The stop zeroing in on the "flaws" and start seeing the bigger picture. I wanted to share Miss S' story and testimonial because I think it is important for people to understand how boudoir does and doesn't help. While it is not the end all to be all in terms of body positivity (that requires constant practice), it is a fabulous place to start to, as Miss S put it, start "putting cracks in the mirror" of how you see yourself.
It Saved Her Life ~ Winnipeg Boudoir Photographer
I know the tremendous impact I want my work to have on the women who not only come in for a shoot, but also for those viewing it from afar, but sometimes I forget exactly how much it actually does. I posted a casting call in my VIP Boudy Babe group awhile back and Miss S scooped it up, coming in for a session and attempting to give herself some love. Little did I know that this session would affect her as much as it did. I will let Miss S take control of the blog now and tell you in her own words exactly how her session changed her view of herself.
When I first saw Teri's work, all I could think of, "I need this. Like. Now."
So I showed it to my partner, who agreed that it would help. I told him it would save my life. So when Teri was doing a casting call, I jumped on it. A week before I came into Teri's studio, or as I call it, "Magic Boudy Land", I was terrified. Scared. What if she is repulsed by my look? I have so many scars, pimples, etc, what if I just look like a girl with a disease? What if my partner hates them? What if *I* hate them? These were all things that were going through my head, and more. I was diagnosed with BPD(Borderline Personality Disorder), PTSD(Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), Anxiety(all varieties at different levels), and depression. So as some could imagine, I didn't think I could do it. I have huge body issues(Body Dysmorphia, very low self esteem, etc), and it causes me to think, and feel like nothing. That *I* am nothing, or not worthy of being loved by anyone. But as I walked through the door of Magic Boudy Land, my worries kind of melted away.
Teri is an amazing person, she radiates with so much glitter and sparkle that I don't think anyone could be sad in her room. She just makes you feel at home and loved, and very welcomed. When we got started, after makeup(which was so mystifying), she explained things clearly, with no pressure. It's like we were friends for years. She treated me like an equal, a sexy goddess, a beautiful woman, a normal human being.
After the shoot, I was so happy. I was radiating glitter and sparkle and so much sass. I was confident. And I am in love with myself. I know getting a boudy shoot to some may seem like nothing, or that it won't do anything. Or that it's "not for you" or that you have to be a certain body type to get one. No. It saved my life. My humanity. Not only am I more confident. I feel great. It's like a personal high. I advise everyone to get one done. Sure, you may still have bad days, but I find that I still think I am sexy even on the worse days. I am loving myself, and everyone should feel this way.
I'm not gonna lie. I totally teared up when I read her email. This session SAVED. HER. LIFE. No, wait. SHE saved her life. She followed through with her session despite the constant battle in her mind. There are a number of women out there who would cancel, reschedule or just not go forward with their session because of all of the fears Miss S listed, but look what happened when she pushed herself so far outside of her comfort zone?? SHE DID AMAZING!! She is renewed and one step closer to being at peace with herself. Had she not pushed past the fears she would be in the same self-depricating and emotionally damaging state that she was, but this bombshell DIDN'T let her fear stop her. Instead she faced it head on and powered her shoot with her nervousness (and as a result, "killed it" as the kids say these days). It's clients like this that pull at my heart and make me dig my feet in even more to help build a community and world of women who can embrace their worth and fabulousness. Do something this week that scares the shit out of you....do something that makes your soul feel on fire....and do something just for yourself. (If part of that is booking your boudoir session, hit the contact button above or join the VIP Community on Facebook to get one step closer!!)
She Was Blown Away ~ Winnipeg Boudoir Photographer
Miss K has one of the most infectious laughs ever. I had the pleasure of having Miss K be part of our Boudy Babe shoot/video last month and that made us even more excited for her upcoming session. This woman is one of the kindest, most beautiful souled people I have ever met and I am pleased you to get to hear about her experience today! When she came in for her consult we talked about what type of session she wanted: classy or sassy and she had mentioned a combo of both so I knew it was going to be a ton of fun! Sassy sessions are always risky, ridiculously empowering and push people out of their comfort zone. My favorite things! Without further adieu, here is Miss K!!
Before the session I felt a little nervous but took comfort in having done the #boudybabe group session with Teri recently which was so much fun and a nice way to prepare myself for an individual session.
My comfort and confidence definitively grew throughout the session which happened to coincide with me wearing less and less clothing...go figure! Teri gives great direction making it very easy to just go with the flow and really enjoy the experience. While it was more makeup than I would typically wear (as it is photo makeup!), it was a treat having it done professionally. Nicole did a wonderful job which is plain to see in the photos!
Hard to pinpoint what was the one thing I will remember most, but honestly just how much we laughed! What an empowering experience that left me feeling sexy, beautiful and full of confidence. I am forever grateful for the experience, happy I invested in myself because it paid off ten fold.
How did I feel when I saw my images? Blown way. First thought was "Holy Shit, that's really me!!" Teri essentially captured my essence and all aspects of my personality . I keep telling her how amazing the photos are to which she is quick to say "no, you're amazing!".
I would do another session in a heartbeat. Leaving the session, I wanted to walk back through Teri's door and do it all over again. Teri is a true master in her craft, beautiful soul, creative mind and an absolute pleasure to work with.
Well thank you, Miss K! (And I still stand by it...she IS amazing!) Inspired to come in and invest in yourself and have a day to let loose and experience all facets of your being? Awesome. Shoot me a message!!
She Found Peace ~ Winnipeg Boudoir Photography
Another Miss J!! This beauty took advantage of my dark and light promo session and upon meeting I could see she was very hesitant and nervous to do her session. As a boudy photog, I can usually get a feel for my babes and I could sense her anxiety. Nevertheless, she pushed past her fears and jumped into her session with 2 beautiful feet! This gorgeous babe had a hard time seeing her gloriousness and when she came in for her reveal with her mom and best friend, someone must have been cutting onions, because there were tears all around. All this time she had felt less than, undesireable and yet, here in front of her was the amazing woman that her family and friends knew the whole time. Miss J finally realized what everyone was telling her. But don't take it from me, check out her story below:
I was really second guessing my decision to do this shoot. I was so nervous the days before the shoot, even more so the morning of. However I bit the bullet, picked up my heels and off I went!
I felt very welcomed greeted by Teri's and Nicole's smiles. Make up almost done, that crazy nervous feeling returned. Teri assured me I would be ok and have a great time. A few moments into the shoot I chuckled to myself and thought yes she was right. Teri made me feel so comfortable and I had a great shoot with her!
I brought my amazing mom and one of my oldest and dearest friends to the reveal. Sitting there the nerves were almost too much. I was scared to have them see what I had done and hear what they thought. Once the photos started I thought wow, tears uncontrollably fell and not just from me. What a feeling, it was overwhelming. Looking over at my mom and my friend seeing tears in there eyes and mamma validating what she has always said..... you are beautiful! I felt at peace.
Teri you have helped me see my beauty outside and within once again!!
Miss J.'s experience is unfortunately not uncommon. Too many women second guess their beauty, their strength, and their sexiness and it is a session like this that will help them see the reality of who they are as women. While I am very happy to help women experience that on their journey, it also pains me that so many women go years without ever knowing or acknowledging their true worth. So don't wait for the "right time", until your body is "perfect", because 1 year waiting to see yourself as anything less than phenomenal is 1 year too long. Are you ready to REALLY see yourself? If so, hit the contact button up above and we will have a chat!