One of the best parts of my profession is meeting other boudoir photographers and connecting with them. Miss S of I Am Boudoir came to our Confident Curves workshop in Las Vegas and also did a mini session with me! After her session, she filled me in on why doing a session and why boudoir was so important to her and I knew it was a story that I had to share...
My body was a means to an end. 
Growing up I experienced several instances of sexual assault, both as a child and as a teen. I had grown men fondle me and attempt to assault me. My high school years were ruined when a classmate tried to rape me, yet he was never disciplined. Those instances turned me into an object. As such, I have never really trusted anyone with my body. I always felt like my body was the means to the end. Men just wanted my body to get what THEY wanted in the end. 
I grew to hate my body. The more I gained weight, the safer I felt. No one wants the “fat” girl right? I would go to a car lot to look at cars and no one would approach me. No one held doors for me, no one said hello or acknowledged me walking down the street. I was invisible and society told me I was undesirable at my size. 
I met my husband at 19 years old. He loved me for me and tolerated all my craziness. When we would fight and argue he would fight dirty. Even in the dirtiest of fights and the nastiest of words, he never once mentioned my weight or called me fat. I respected that. It made me feel like he loved me the way I was. We were together for twenty years. In 2011 I had weight loss surgery. I was never comfortable with my body and wanted to make a change. We were having issues in our marriage and sex wasn’t ever on the menu, so hey, if he’s more attracted to me, bonus! I lost approximately 80 pounds and was feeling AMAZING physically! I was thinner than I was in high school and yet, I was more self-conscious than ever. Suddenly I wasn’t invisible anymore and I was getting attention, which made me uncomfortable. I started nit-picking every single pudge here, or crease there. 
It was at this time I discovered by husband of twenty years was cheating on me. And not just cheating on me, but cheating on me with PROSTITUTES. I was embarrassed and disgusted. Was I that gross to make him pay for sex instead of pursuing me? Were that pudge and that crease the reason? I was devastated and turned to my best friend for support, food! Eight months later, I packed up my things while he was at work and I left. I had also gained about 40 pounds back at that point. I realize now that I slowly packed on pounds again as a protection mechanism to keep myself from getting hurt again. 
So where am I today? Today I have gained all 80 pounds back and weigh exactly the same as I did the day I had surgery. I am in a different space now. Yes, I still mindlessly snack, but I don’t feel like I medicate with food anymore. I also embrace my body the way it is. I no longer have this innate desire to chase thinness. I don’t care about my cellulite, or my rolls. My body is mine. It wakes me up every day, it hugs and squeezes my kids, and its my means to MY own end.
Having my own boudoir photos done was a way for me to embrace my body again. It was a way to MAKE me see myself as a sexual being. It was a way for me to feel proud of who I am today and how much I have grown emotionally. My body is not perfect, it never will be, but its MINE and I’m so proud I can look at it today and embrace it just the way it is – all 216 pounds of it.
She Reclaimed Her Body ~ Winnipeg Boudoir Photographer
Last year I had put up a casting call looking for someone to let me use ice on them. Little did I know that this session would yield so much more than just the opportunity for me to do something out of the norm for me. Instead, Miss K and I talked about body image and she divulged her experience with eating disorders (she also participated in the Empowerment Project for that). During her session, I could see that Miss K had so much passion and the movement of an artist as I directed her and she made it her own. It was AFTER the shoot, however, that I realized just how much this gorgeous babe was struggling internally. While we had talked about body image, we never really talked about the source of it or the life experiences that led her to that place. When I realized that it was because someone tried to claim her body as his own, this shoot mean oh, so much more. On the surface, this shoot was a fun time, me learning new lighting, posing, and styling, but underneath all that, this was an opportunity for this babe to give herself permission to continue on her journey to healing, self love, living a passionate life, and reclaim the body that is HERS.Here is her story (TW: sexual abuse, eating disorders, etc.)
Please forgive me, as this may be a long and winding road to get to the end of it.
I have never felt comfortable in my own skin - and it was something that I was taught from an early age, between restrictive dress codes for schools and summer camps and the way the other girls would talk about themselves - and others - in the gym locker room. I dealt with (and still struggle with) disordered eating as a teen and young adult. It's been tricky, of course, it's difficult for everyone, but I was making progress on accepting the body I was in.
Then last year, on a warm jazz-fested evening, I was sexually assaulted by someone who I had counted as a close friend, an integral part of my personal and professional community. My progress stopped.
I won't walk you through the gory details, I relive them often enough. The situation was grey in a way that I knew would never be conducive to legal use and justice, so I buried it in my head as much as I could. I underwent the appropriate testing immediately and six weeks after the event, and was thankful to have escaped with as little extra baggage as I did. I started attending an Anglican church service on Sundays, and sometimes couldn't physically say the words, “forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us,” but that was okay. I was okay. It was over, I was okay.
I saw him again, about a month ago, at a social gathering to celebrate a friend's birthday. She didn't know, I hadn't told her. I hadn't wanted to break up the community, and so not very many people know it happened, much less who was culpable. I didn't know that he was going to be there, and it shook my sense of safety, my sense of okay. I barricaded myself in the washroom, texted my best friend, and cried. She told me that I could stay or go, that either was okay, that I needed to prioritize myself and my safety, and so I decided to stay - to consciously decide to put my own will first. I got lucky: he had left before I came out again, but that decision to prioritize myself lingered, and it was as a result of that that I put my hat into the ring when Teri offered a casting call for a model for a shoot.
I never used to feel completely comfortable in my own skin, but I'm making progress again. I recognize that my body is my own again. I'm learning to love it and to live in it again.
Give the Middle Finger to Fear ~ Winnipeg Boudoir Photographer
Every time I post an image or blog post of some bad ass boudy babe, I get comments or acknowledgements like "OMG, you are so brave" or "I would be so scared to do that" and while I am not denying that getting in front of a relative stranger is scary as shit, it is one of those empowering experiences that you look back on and say "I don't know why I was so worried" and "I am SO glad I did this!" So, while I can sit here and go on and on about why you shouldn't let fear hold you back from anything, most of all a boudoir session with moi, I will let my past boudy babes share THEIR fearless stories. {Remember, fearless isn't about the lack of fear, but rather doing something DESPITE the fear!}
"I would tell him/her to remember that there is fire inside him/her and to try and remember how bright it burned before it was stifled with doubt. Then pour some gasoline on that bitch and gitter done.""I tell my kids all the time that it's ok to be scared because it means you're going to do something really brave. Also, you have so much to gain from the experience!""Don't be hard on yourself. Being uncomfortable is part of the journey. It is necessary for you to feel what you are feeling, freely and without judgement from yourself first and foremost. Be trusting to those around you, and be vulnerable. Society teaches us to fit a mould and to nitpick at ourselves if we don't fit it to it's entirety. Your session allows you to break free from that, so embrace yourself for all that you are, and all that you are not. It's both rebellious and empowering to do so!""There is something so reassuring about the way Teri runs as session. I felt more at ease, more comfortable, more free with Teri just by the way she interacts with you. You know she's "a safe place", you know she "gets it", and you've seen how amazing Teri's work is..... The session is about you, how beautiful you are, and how truly transformative and empowering the session can be. Just be honest with Teri about how you feel, and she'll bring out the amazing woman in you that everyone else sees."
"Trust in teri but more importantly trust in yourself! She is the artist but remember you are the canvas, a work of art. I understand being nervous or scared but just let it all go. Close your eyes, breath out the crap and breath in the gold and let yourself transform!""Let loose and embrace yourself and your body. Bring that outfit that you feel amazing in and I guarantee your confidence will shine through. Don't think about what others will think about your photos. Just keep in mind this is a time to get dressed up and treat yourself! It's an amazing experience. You'll have the jitters at first I am sure. Just remember that your beautiful,sexy, smart and intelligent! A woman who is strong and powerful!""There is something amazing about being vulnerable and then realizing that the person you're with is only there to make you feel amazing. I didn't realize how much it means to have another woman tell you how beautiful you are until I was mostly naked with Teri Hahaha. It was so cool, and an experience I'm always anxious to share with others."
"Just do it!! Embrace being scared and nervous and trust in Teri! She knows what she is doing, and you will look amazing and feel so confident after the photoshoot! Trust the process and just put your trust in her and have fun!""That allowing yourself to be vulnerable is the birthplace of innovation, change and growth. It's the cornerstone of confidence and to quote Brene Brown, "we are wired to be brave; that's why we never feel more alive than when we're being courageous".""Best thing I ever did for myself! I was almost sick with nervousness even though I knew I was in good hands. The excitement from the reveal boosted my energy and lasted weeks! It's a great feeling to be excited about yourself for a change. Absolutely love my pictures.""You will rediscover yourself. The whole time I'm standing there talking to a woman I just met while wearing lingerie and all I could think was, why don't I feel weird right now? Like I could just drink a coffee and chat with Teri in my underwear like it was the most natural thing."
" I would tell that someone that sometimes you need to let yourself be vulnerable to someone else so that they can see all the beautiful incredible things you are for you to see them. You are strong enough, brave enough and fierce enough for this and soooo much more. Believe in yourself and the rest will fall into place. Best thing I ever did...forever grateful....""It's exciting and nerve-wracking which is perfectly normal , within minutes of Teri snapping pics you forget the nerves disappear your doing things in positions you've never would have thought striping your clothes off with ease to change outfits and then your done and you think that's it that wasn't so bad. And you will be nervous again once it's time to reveal Teri will give you the low down ..you will be 100%convinced you won't like 1 picture ...then they are on the screen , you will need to pick your jaw up off the floor and you will say Shit! Is that me that bitch on the screen is Fierce and beautiful and sexy and it's you and you will be wanting ALL the pictures .. and then you will be an hooked and will want to take pictures all the time !!!""Grab life by the lady balls and be fierce! Teri will be your spirit guide and you will feel so empowered!! 
❤️ no regrets.""And on those days in the trenches raising toddlers where I haven't showered or shaved or worn makeup for days, I just open my boudy book of photos to remind myself that I'm a god damn GODDESS!"
"1) It's okay to feel scared.2) It feels so great to be brave.3) Teri is magical and makes you feel so at ease it's crazy.4) You will feel empowered and like a total boss for a very long time after the shoot. (Possibly indefinitely)5) You only see the good photos.6) Again, Teri is magical. (Like a Teri Godmother or something)7) You get to look at your awesome babely photos of yourself later and be like "Holy shit, that's me, I'm a mu'fuckin' babe!"8) You are beautiful, and strong, and worth it, (and all the other good things) and you should go for it!9) Seriously, just go for it.10) Doooooo it.""You are worth it. Regardless of how much you love or hate your body features, Teri goes beyond the physical aspect. She gets ya in the feels. Inside you feel fierce. You come out seeing those physical features in a different way. The environment is safe and empowering. Teri truly invests her time in you. Shouldn't you do the same thing?"
While these are just a few of the stories to come out of the Boudy Babes, I promise you that every woman who experiences an empowerment boudoir experience emerges with renewed self confidence, a wee bit of pride, and an acknowledgment that she is one sexy, bad ass babe ready to take on the world. I hope the words from these babes will quell some of that fear that stops you from pushing the contact button or lets you procrastinate until "one day when..." So, when you are ready to give the middle finger to fear, I am here and I am ready to give you one of the most empowering experiences of your life!
She Could Be Very Judgmental {of herself} ~ Winnipeg boudoir photography
I have a feeling you will be seeing a lot of Miss H on the blog in the future! She was a blast to hang out with and also helped me out a few weeks after this shoot with another shoot for a tutorial that I am working on. Not only did Miss H kill her shoot, but she got WHY we do what we do here. This babe was a little bit of a chameleon on camera, changing her look for every pose and outfit I gave her. Turns out, she was a theater kid, so she loved being in front of the camera and giving me everything she had. I will let Miss H take it from here and talk about her experience being in front of my lens for the first time:
[It made] me feel confident in my own skin again, I haven't felt this beautiful in years (I truly mean this, Teri is an absolute inspiration with the way she empowers body image and cuts negative thoughts out of her shoots). The biggest thing that stood out with me was before the reveal, the way she spoke, and how she spoke about not looking at yourself with a judging eye. That truly stuck out to me, as someone who is always judgmental of myself, and I called my mom afterwards to boast about how great that was and how amazing the experience was!
From the first phone call, to consultation, to the shoot and to the reveal, Teri was absolutely phenomenal to work with. The way she portrays positive body image absolutely blew me away. Not once during my shoot did I feel self conscious, and that's all thanks to Teri. I would HIGHLY recommend every single person to do a shoot with Teri, because the way you feel so empowering, beautiful, and sexy throughout the shoot is worth more than money can buy. Even if money is tight, she has amazing payment plans.
Boudoir shoots can definitely feel very intimidating if you've never done one before. I had kind of done one before, but wasn't fully satisfied with my shoot. I came across Teri's page and thought I would give her a call. The shoot itself was absolutely life changing. If you're even considering doing a shoot- DO IT. You will feel so strong and sexy and that feeling is priceless. Teri's photo's speak for themselves, and the experience with her was great. I would really love to commemorate her though for her outlook on body positivity which is the sole reason I think every single individual should do at least one shoot with Teri. She is kind hearted, and totally empowering. I have never met someone as inspirational as Teri who believes so much that each and every single one of us is beautiful, and wants to show us through her way of photography. My entire experience I felt safe, sexy, and not a single self conscious thought crossed my mind. The experience is priceless, and worth every single penny.
Needless to say, I may have shed some tears when I heard back from Miss H about her experience. It is my wish with every session that I help the person in front of me to gain a little more confidence and put a little crack in their negative self-image. Slowly, we work to help chip away at those negative thoughts and doubts about ourselves that we have, erasing the judgements we cast upon ourselves when looking at images or previewing a video.
If you are ready to explore yourself and help knock back some of those negative voices, I invite you in just for a consultation to learn more about how we can help you "find yourself" again. You're in there, we just need to bring that bad ass babe out!
She Thought She Wasn't Fucking Good Enough ~ Winnipeg Boudoir Photographer
Miss R.'s shoot was a first for me. She booked her session in the morning (not uncommon).....OF HER WEDDING (uncommon!) How cool is that? While she was getting married that day, the intent for her session had very little to do with her lucky partner...it was all about her! Her post after she saw her photos had me in tears. She. Was. Amazing.
Of course I thought she was awesome, and I absolutely love that she fully trusted me to do whatever I wanted with her, but I am going to let this hottie tell you what the experience meant to her, because at the end of the day it's never about me...it's always, always, ALWAYS about HER.
I got back from my reveal session with Teri Hofford Photography and I just wanna say... Wow.
I decided on a boudoir empowerment session for myself because I had too much issues with hating myself and the way my body's current state is. I'm in the process of transitioning to reach my goal, but I want to be able to actually love myself without a doubt to actually see myself in a different light. There are various times when I don't get as much likes on a photo, having a shitty day, or do something mentally exhausting where I just wanna say "I'm not fucking good enough!" Or "I'm ugly," "I'm too fat," "Nobody wants to see all that," or in general fear that I'd be bullied more about my looks than I was in high school. Since I seen what she's been doing out there to help build body positivity with women out there, I decided to go for it for myself for me. Being someone with anxiety, it's hard to see myself as more than enough. Sure the hubby might check out the end results and stuff, but HE SEES ME EVERY DAY SO ANYTHING HE SAYS I THINK IS BULL CRAP WHEN HE COMPLIMENTS ME.
I was nervous as hell in the beginning because of my white sheet session, but when I got into it I felt more confident with little I was wearing (sexy outfit, done up hair, and fierce makeup).
When I got there today, I was excited in going but at the same time having doubts in myself to see if i actually looked good or not. Having a surge of anxiety, a lot of thoughts in my head like "what if they're not as good as I was hoping?" "My booty probably won't look that good," "My boobies only look good from some angles," "I have really bad skin (keratosis pilaris + stretchmarks), I'm afraid ... they would ruin the pic."
She sat me down, showed me a beautiful sildeshow that I was holding back my waterworks because... After seeing the first few I was like, "Oh damn, I'M FIERCE AS FUCK! I'm fierce as fuck no matter what size I am." And that's the kind of image I want to remind myself of that I am me, THAT IS ME! WOW! And some of these pics are way too hot for Facebook. Lmao!!! Heck I even thought I had a nice pair! I was wowed and I'm still wowed!
Definitely worth it, if you're struggling to see yourself in the way others see you in a positive light... GO SEE TERI! The journey is real!!!
Ready to change your view of YOURSELF for 2017? Hit the contact button above to get the deets on your own epic empowerment session!