When Miss M came in for her first shoot, about 2 years ago, she probably never imagined that she would end up in a magazine nor did she think she would be asked to model for my posing tutorial video. Well, every time I presented her with an opportunity she never said no and that's how beautiful Miss M became one of my Boudy Muses. Now, for those of you that aren't sure what a Boudy Muse is, it is someone that I have an easy time photographing without giving much direction and there is a certain "chemistry" as odd as that sounds that allows us to just "click!" The very first time I shot Miss M I felt it and knew I needed her to come back in for some new stuff! This babe brings it every time and is always incredibly professional on set! The best part about these opportunities, however, is that SHE had to do something uncomfortable. SHE had to book her own boudoir session first, she had to invest in herself first, and she had to take a chance on something that was incredibly scary for her...but NOW LOOK!! She has graced the pages of the national Fabuplus magazine and is now inspiring to so many women, photographers and other clients alike! It pays to take a chance on yourself every now and then.
She Avoided Looking At Herself In the Mirror ~ Winnipeg Boudoir Photography
You have seen Ms. Raissa on my site and social media multiple times, but you have never seen her like this. Usually our shoots involve over the top makeup, clothes, hair, and crazy styling that it seems only this babe can pull off. But like so many of my model babes, she was incredibly nervous about doing a stripped down boudoir session and I have to admit, it was difficult for me to shoot her as a boudoir client because I know the crazy model-y shit she is capable of...but I also knew I had to show her that her stripped down self is incredibly beautiful and worthy of being photographed. I am going to let Raissa tell you more about her journey.
Awhile back I did something really scary. I did a boudoir shoot with Teri Hofford.
Now I know, I have done so many shoots with Teri before. Why would this be any different? Well, for one - every time we have shot together, I got to play a character that distanced myself a bit from who I am in the rawest of forms. No costumes or personas to hide behind. The only inspiration for this shoot - is myself. Going into the shoot I had a bit of a panic attack and an identity crisis. I felt that this shoot was going to be the hardest shoot I've ever done. I'm still not even sure who I am, but by being too scared to acknowledge myself and my body, I would never find out.
I took the leap. One thing Teri and I have talked about is how often I feel that my insecurities and my feelings are invalidated. I have a fairly petite frame, I know. It does not mean that I have more self confidence that anyone. Yet, I can feel ashamed of my insecurities because people will write them off. They don't see how deep those feelings run. I often avoid looking myself in the mirror.
Growing up I would have such bad anxiety that someone might be staring at me. Even during "Oh Canada" at the beginning of every day at school, I would get heart palpitations and have a gigantic lump in my throat. I have struggled with feeling beautiful for my entire life, and how skinny other people think I am, does not make that any less true.
I have felt fat. I have pinched my stomach to judge how comfortable I will feel that day. I have felt too skinny. I have felt simultaneously too fat and too skinny. I have wished that I had blue or green eyes, or prettier eyes. I have felt like a freak in a crowd. I have felt like I'm not good enough or pretty enough.
I have a tendency to put people, including those I don't know, on a pedestal above me. I can automatically see the good in someone else, find someone beautiful any shape and size, or admire them for a specific quality. When it comes to myself, I almost feel like my brain hits a wall. I just can't be that kind to myself.
The one thing I try to be mindful of, is that society teaches us to judge ourselves to keep us as loyal consumers, constantly trying to fill the void of "not enough". And the truth is, nothing you buy will ever fill that void.
Why do boudoir? Well for me, it NORMALIZED my body. Now that may not seem like much to some people, but for me it moved mountains. How often do you avoid looking at yourself in the mirror? How often do you feel ashamed, or when you feel confident, do you question whether you have the right to be?
I gained weight after an injury and a stressful, sad summer. And I thought to myself, "What better time for me to try this out than now? When I need it most. When it scares me most" You know what? Afterwards, life goes on. The world didn't end because I finally acknowledged my body. Everything was fine. And for me, that was a major realization. It moved mountains in my head. I can acknowledge my body more fully, because I know that it is not an "end all be all". There is more to life than feeling conventionally beautiful. It is important to find a way to loving yourself first and foremost.
Raissa and I talk about the different ends of the spectrum and again, the fact that someone who "fits the stereotypical ideal" and someone that is outside of that realm both hate their bodies probably means it's not about the body at all, right? I was so proud of her for doing this, for pushing herself outside her comfort zone and acknowledging her sense of self and what she is capable of. This babe is immensely brilliant, ridiculously kind, and a beautiful soul and hopefully, now, she will realize that the packaging is less important than the package itself. I love this girl so hard and she is always ready to fight for everyone else, I am happy to see her fight for herself.
She Had Given Up On Life ~ Winnipeg Boudoir Photography
You know that feeling when the sun breaks through the clouds, creating what can only be described as Heaven rays? Well, that's the perfect description of Miss B's entrance into the room. For our first meeting, the consultation, she burst through the door with a grin and jazzy personality that filled the room immediately. Her laugh, her amazing smile, and her....aura were all so incredibly infectious that I knew she NEEDED this. With an energy that powerful, one can feel it shift and when she began to tell me her story....a story of loss, heartache, and disappointment in this beautiful body of hers, the clouds came back together and tears rolled down her cheeks. The day of her session was a day filled with such an array of energy feels: anxious, fear, excitement, joy, nervousness...it was a cocktail of all the feelings...and the day started with more clouds, than sunlight. But she persevered, as the sun tends to do on the cloudiest of days. Suddenly, the beams were back, the grin spreading from cheek to cheek, the sass coming forth in every movement, and the goddess within bubbled forward, basking the entire studio in what can only be akin to the sun breaking over the horizon in the morning, casting it's glow on everything it touches. Miss B came alive right before my lens. I feel incredibly privileged to have gotten to know and experience Miss B and I can only imagine how grateful those who know her feel, when she casts her warmth and sunlight on them. Miss B wrote her own beautiful recount of her experience, in life and in her session because she knew it might be able to inspire just even ONE woman to feel differently....to feel empowered. Without further adieu, here she is:
I have always been a confident person, even when I had no right to be (hello 90’s? - Eek!). I’m not sure why but think it has to do with two things; I was the tallest, thickest girl in most of my classes growing up, so I accepted who I was early on and made no apologies for it. I was also lucky enough to have been raised by an incredible Mum and fabulous aunties who’d repeatedly tell me, “You can’t change the width of your shoulders or the size of your feet/You are beautiful inside and out - don’t be afraid to show the world who you are/Be fashionable, learn what flatters your body and walk tall/Size doesn’t determine worth.” This permission to be myself allowed me to flourish, to be kind, outgoing, intelligent, compassionate and confident.
On February 14, 2013 all of that changed. My husband and I were told that due to physician’s errors we’d never be able to have children. Utter devastation doesn’t even scratch the surface of how it affected us – me most of all. I am an only child and my husband is the only son with a partner. I placed the burden of carrying on both family lines directly on my shoulders and I felt I had failed myself, womankind, my husband, our parents and every antecedent that had ever lived. If I wasn’t going to be a Mum, what purpose did my life have? How could I face our families knowing I was such a disappointment? What did I have to live for? Through it all, my amazing husband would remind me, “I didn’t want to marry you so you would bear my children. I wanted to marry you because I knew I had to spend the rest of my life with you!” Coming from a very British upbringing where lips don’t quiver and you Carry On, I did my best to show a brave face to the rest of the world. We immediately started the process of adoption, went about our daily lives and fell apart in the privacy of our home.
Six months later my father died. The man who loved me unconditionally from the moment I took my first breath until the moment he took his last, was gone. Neither of us could do wrong in each other’s eyes and my decimation was complete. I totally gave up on life, on caring about myself and on hope. I felt worthless. I was reduced to nothing. I wailed and wallowed and grieved these deep losses for a long time. Through it all, my husband loved me, adored me, and reminded me that life was worth living. He still saw that spark of ME hidden under layers of sorrow that I thought was gone forever. Michael literally kept me alive.
Every Valentine’s Day for the last five years has been a shit show. We re-live that awful day in the doctor’s office and it casts a very dark shadow on what should be a wonderful celebration. This year I vowed to take the day back and made an appointment to see Teri. I was sick and tired of this sadness owning us and from now on, thanks to Teri, this date will be a celebration of us and of what we’ve survived together.
As I sat there during my reveal and saw these incredible images of myself, I was overcome with emotion. Yes! This is ME! While I watched my slideshow, tears streamed down my face, and with every blink I could see that Teri captured the Me I had lost, the Me my husband fell in love with and the Me the world used to know. I was shocked at how gorgeous I looked and yet felt a great swell of pride and confirmation as the hidden Me returned. When I started this process with Teri, I had convinced myself that this was going to be a gift for my husband and stand as a testament of our strength and love for each other. What I didn’t expect was that I fell in love with Me again.
Whether or not I become a mother, my life has meaning and purpose; to love those in my circle; to share my artistic gifts and bring joy to others; to be a light for everyone I meet and remind them that they have value. I accept what has been, live for what is and look forward to what will be.
This glorious babe has SO much love to give the world and I am so pleased that she stuck around to share some of her light with me. She also gave me the nickname Taco-Mama which I fucking love and am in the process of making a tshirt! Miss B, without a doubt, you are one of the most effervescent, brilliant women I have come to know and meet and I know you are going to move on, warming everyone with your beautiful light.
If you are interested in having your own self-love experience and uncovering that hidden light within, shoot me a message and let's have a chat!
I Look How You Want Me To Look ~ Winnipeg Boudoir Photography
(photo by Modern Love Studios)Now that 2017 is on it's way out, I figured it would be a good time to get my year end post done, but this one is going to be a bit different. Usually I recap all the amazing shoots that I have had throughout the year, but if you want to see a fraction of them, feel free to zip through the blog for 2017 and get an idea. Ever woman that graces my lens is incredibly amazing and worthy of mention, but since I don't want to keep you here for hours and hours on end, I am going to do something...new. 2017 is the year that I saw myself really step up in terms of photography education, and in an effort to get my name out there a bit more, I attended workshops, retreats, mentored, and more importantly made a lot of photographer connections. This year I had the pleasure of visiting a plethora of amazing boudoir photog friends and idols and in doing so, I was photographed multiple times throughout the year. I have waited until now to unveil all of the photos that I received from my talented peers because I wanted to wait until I wrapped the year. After being photographed as many times as I did this year, I realized something incredible about body image.....I will literally never know exactly how I look. I have been photographed by 4 different artists (and myself!) who interpreted me in a different way and as a photographer, I can tell you that that is how THEY see me. Some photographers brought out my sensual side, some my sexual side, some my bad ass side, some my soft side, some my rebellious side, my inner diva, my divine goddess, etc. No 2 sets of images are the same and I think this is the most incredible thing. I WILL LOOK HOW YOU WANT ME TO LOOK. Your perception of me will be based on your own body image, your life experiences, your view of the world and no matter how I try to change myself to adapt, I will never look ONE WAY to everyone....which is why I think it is ultimately ridiculous how we try to look ONE way, in an effort to appear "societally acceptable" when individuals make up society and will perceive you in their own way. People will choose to see your beauty or choose to find your flaws. Some people will find my rolls cute af, others will find my body appalling and disgusting. Neither is right or wrong. They are just perceptions (though I'm gonna side with the cute af) Some people will decide what is abhorrent about you, while others will decide that you are nothing but positive light. NEITHER OF THESE OPINIONS ARE RIGHT OR WRONG. They are simply their perception. I didn't go into these photoshoots with any expectations aside from excitement, positivity and joy. When I look at all of these photos together, and the collage of metal images I have on my wall at home, I am reminded that I am not one way and I can't possibly exist one way to everyone. Those who will choose to see what I do in myself: the strength, the passion, the creativity, the fire, and the goodness, are people I want to surround myself with going forward....and those that can't see beyond what they consider to be my flaws, problems, or disgusting bits are people I don't need to waste my precious energy on. I urge those of you reading this to GET YOUR PHOTO TAKEN AND GET YOUR PHOTO TAKEN OFTEN AND GET YOUR PHOTO TAKEN BY MANY PEOPLE. I want you to see the amazing bits of yourself that you don't even know exist. I will stop babbling now, and let you get to viewing my Nudie Judie photos below. Ps. if nips and bums offend you, gtfo of here.Fierce/Sexual Teri - courtesy of Modern Love StudiosDenise Birdsong made me feel so sexy and like a sexual goddess during my session. At first, I was nervous and felt I didn't think I could be "sexy" in the way she wanted me to be. This woman is the queen of emotion so I knew I had to bring it, but part of my problem is overthinking and wanting to be perfect instead of just immersing myself in the experience. I remember feeling like a horse getting ready to exit the gate, and Denise calmed me the fuck down. It was an awesome experience.
Glamorous Teri - Jennifer Williams BoudoirJennifer and I had met at a workshop a few years ago, so when we got back into the studio together to shoot each other in her Vancouver studio I was super excited. She has made a huge name for herself in the boudoir industry for her clean, luxurious, beautiful work and bad ass boss babe attitude. During my session with her, I felt so glamorous lying about on the soft pillows, expensive sheets, standing against her marble inspired wall. It was a true glam moment for me! (especially since I usually wear sweatpants and tshirts)
Playful, Sweet & Sensual Teri - Joi PhotographyCrystal and I had met at the very beginning of my boudoir journey at a retreat in San Diego and it was so amazing to catch up at her Saskatoon studio! Crystal has everything planned to the last detail and her attention to detail is what made my session feel flawless. I never felt uncomfortable once during our session (aside from physical discomfort from some of the poses, but I know to expect that bahaha....all my clients are laughing, because THEY KNOW....) When I saw the images, I almost cried because if you know me, soft is not a word I would use to describe myself (aside from physically haha!). But Crystal found my inner softness, sweetness, and flirt and I couldn't believe it. My favorite image of ever was taken at this shoot, the black and white nudie one with me by the window where you can see my tum and my bum. I love it. I went back later in the year and Crystal also did headshots for me which are also 100% accurate to me. This babe is incredible, so those of you in Saskatchewan, please go see her!!
Wild Teri ~ Boudie NationMiss Kristina and I met up in Vegas this year during WPPI and on one of our trips to the desert we photographed each other. Kristina is immensely talented at blending her subjects with nature (check out her amazing work) and when I saw these I was in LOVE. I have to give props to my friend Angelina for the use of the fur coat haha! But I fell in love with tum in these images and there is something so...liberating about hanging about naked and semi-naked in the desert off the highway. 
Rebel/Feisty Teri ~ Fearlessly You BoudoirPaige and I met during our shoots with Denise Birdsong (during a photography retreat) and we bonded immediately. We had flown down to Pittsburgh to hang out with our mutual boudy bestie Stephanie Wells and played in her studio while Steph was getting her makeup done. Paige took complete control and despite being the sweetest, kindest babe, this girl knows how to bring out feisty Teri. We had an amazing weekend and next year we are set to go play in HER studio so look forward to more images from Paige!
Sassy Pants Teri - Teri Hofford PhotographyThis year I have spent a lot of time focusing outside of myself on my business and growing the education side of things, so this was the first time I had done boudoir selfies all year, but it was a look I had wanted to do for awhile with someone else, so I just did it with myself instead. I think these images do a good job of showcasing how I view myself. Selfies are something that can make or break a person's confidence, but thankfully I had done a year of self portraits so I knew that it literally does take like 10 photos to get 1 good one and even then it's not AS good as how someone else could take it unless you practice a lot. My goal for next year is to do a monthly session with myself to remind myself that I am worth the time, the energy and taking off the sweatpants for.
So what can you look forward to in 2018? Well, stay tuned for the next blog post to outline the plans, changes, and updates to Teri Hofford Photography! Thank you to everyone who has been part of my journey, whether you are a photographer, client, vendor, family member, friend, even the trolls (they usually give me good fodder for the blog). Without your love and positivity, guidance, support, and sharing of the stuff, I would not be able to empower as many women as I currently am. Words will never be enough for me to show gratitude for those that share my words, my images, my mission with their friends and family. YOU are causing change. YOU are powerful. Thank YOU.
Bippity Boppity Beautiful ~ Winnipeg Boudoir Photographer
I had used Miss K for a previous tutorial I was teaching and our first meeting at the studio went a little something like this:Teri: Okay, take off your clothes and I'm going to put chocolate sauce on you, okay?K: Wait, what?Teri: Oh. That's what the casting call said....you are going to be covered in all sorts of textures for a tutorial I am teaching.K:.......okay.......entry we chatted about the concept a bit more, she was on board and she put with A. LOT. I covered her in honey, clay, chocolate sauce, glitter, baby powder, and oil. After our first shoot, I told her that she could DEFINITELY be a glambassador since she was willing to go through all of that to help me (well, that and her submission was pretty good too!) As soon as we finished that first shoot, she then invited me to join her to watch some roller derby which was pretty fun! In any case, this second shoot was much more in line with what we do in the studio for our clients. I am going to let Miss K tell you about her experience below:
Teri’s studio is gorgeous, welcoming, and full of light. When I first walked in, I saw her prints on the walls, her body positivity posters, and projects and I knew I was in a space of acceptance and girl power. The afternoon started off with Kylie slaying my makeup. Her and Teri both seemed earnestly excited to work with me and made me feel so gorgeous and welcome. I definitely feel like a clumsy potato some days, but in front of Teri’s camera, I was able to relax and find my groove.
I only almost fell over twice. Even if I have seen Teri’s amazing work I was still cautious of some things; I wanted to keep pulling my bottoms up over my muffin top and whip out my selfie face. My partner calls it my ‘blowing on soup face’, but I think it’s totally cute… I am at a point in my life where I celebrate my body and all that it can do, but I still have moments when I stop and second guess my self. I usually remember to pull my yoga pants over my tum when I sit down and suck in my gut when someone whips out a camera.
Through Teri’s coaching, I was able to relax and just live in that moment. I eventually listened when she told me to stop adjusting my clothes and trusted her that I didn’t look goofy. (“If people are looking at those details I didn’t do my job right” – Teri)
I left the studio feeling like a true glamazon. Going in for my reveal was amazing. Teri’s posing directions are great and had me looking and feeling like a model, no one should worry about not being “photogenic”. This lady is magic, a real-life fairy godmother, with a camera instead of a magic wand. Bippity-Boppity-Beautiful.
The experience itself was amazing, but the photos were even better than I expected. Thank you Teri! I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to shoot with Teri. She has created an amazing space in person and via social media, that is accepting and empowering. We could all use a little more Teri in our lives.
I hope I can make the women in my life feel the way Teri made me feel. During my photo shoot, I felt uninhibited and empowered. Looking at my photos, I feel sexy and beautiful, which isn’t something I’ve always been able to say. Owning your sexuality and being happy in your skin in a strong, amazing feeling. Too often we live and present ourselves for other people, or dwell on our perceived flaws. Which is just silly.
I would encourage anyone I know to do a boudoir shoot. If you’re anxious or you have any appearance-based reason not to, that is the same reason I would tell you that you should. Arch and pose your worries away, you’re beautiful.
Are you ready to have your own Bippity Boppity Beautiful moment? If so, shoot me an email!