Miss R is one of the most beautiful human beings I have ever met. I had the pleasure of meeting her at my very first empowerment project back in the day and then we have seen each other a few times after that. We learned a lot about each other at our Body Positivity Roundtable and as someone who is in the same profession as me, we have quite a bit in common. This babe is a talented photog and creative person with a big heart. After our body image conversation, I knew that this session was going to mean a lot to her.
Miss R transformed in front of the camera. She definitely brought her A-game and killed her session. And when I found out how flexible she was, there was no stopping us! More importantly she exclaims that her boudoir experience was "MIND NUMBINGLY FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC" and her story is something you are definitely going to want to read!
Let me start by saying sentences were the hardest thing to form while having my reveal… only words, two or three at a time, were producing out of my mouth. “Holy shit” seemed to be my preferred combination!
What interested me the most during this time though, was how every time I fell in love with a picture and became happy, I almost immediately began telling myself to “calm down and stop being narcissistic”. I felt like I wasn’t allowed to be in love with my photos… wasn’t allowed to be in love with myself because I was being vain or self-absorbed . Then the next photo would pop up and I would go through that cycle again. I felt like I wasn’t allowed to be pretty, sexy or beautiful in these photos until someone else told me. Which, let me tell you, Teri and Jill were DEFINITELY letting me know!
But why? Why did I feel like I needed that validation, that permission? It wasn’t until I took a step back half way through my photos that I realized, all I needed was to feel as happy as I was. I am allowed to think I am gorgeous, I am allowed to believe that I don’t just look good because “these are professional photos”. I look beautiful, simply because, I am.
Another thing that interested me, no… rather, what SURPRISED me, was that I didn’t find myself nit-picking at my body. I wasn’t looking for things I didn’t like or looking for the things I “know’ are there that I don’t like. I didn’t find myself comparing myself in my head to my friends (as I normally do), or wishing that my body looked like someone else’s or wishing that I had “just lost 5 more pounds” for the shoot. I was more than happy just being me, having the body I have right in this moment. And let me tell yeah, just how FUCKING empowering that was.
I always worry about how people (even my friends and family) look at me and 100% of the time I think everyone just looks at me and thanks their lucky stars they don’t have my body. That they feel they can rest easy knowing they don’t have my body and don’t look like me or don’t weigh what I weigh etc…. But not this day, this day I thanked my lucky stars I have this body in all of its Goddess Queen like glory.
After my shoot, literally on the way out of Teri’s studio, I ironically came across this quote that I feel sums up my whole experience with my boudoir shoot. “The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet” – Mohadesa Najumi
I know without a doubt, that the battle Miss R was having during her reveal is one that many women go through. This is why it is so important to me that we communicate after the reveal slideshow. Whatever the reaction is, it is completely normal! For so long we look to other people for validation of our beauty, but I think the world is coming around to the fact that we don't NEED to do that anymore. It is not narcisstic for you to love yourself and tell yourself you are beautiful...in fact, it is HEALTHY to do so. It is not shameful for you to appreciate your assets and your Goddess-like nature. It is important. I need all of you babes that relate to Miss R's self-conversations to stop right now and say "I'm beautiful and I am worthy and I am a Goddess....and it's okay that I am saying this."
Buddhism & Bodies ~ Self Love Guest Post
{article written by: Ciaran August, photos by: Teri Hofford}
To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.Thich Nhat HahnWhat does Buddhism have to do with loving our bodies? Everything.
People, in my experience, look at Buddhism as a religion when indeed it is more of a practice, a way of looking at the world. The difference between how our regular selves view the world compared to the mindful approach view of the world:Think about this, every day our bodies wake up, our hearts and brains have been working overnight to maintain a sleep cycle; a steady breath, a constant heartbeat and temperature. The blood courses through our veins in a ballet of effortless survival. How amazing is that? As you sleep, your body is like, “I got this bro, don’t worry about it, you keep lusting after a Channing Tatum in a ballet tutu feeding you pop rocks, and I will keep your brain nourished with oxygen and your kidneys working.” But all we can think about is how terrible our tummy rolls are or how our bum has failed us fitting into our pants.
In a World where we have to run around in bikinis after performing the immense miracle of baring and bringing a human life into the world, a la Karadashians, what if we could wear our stretch marks as badge of honor?What if we could step back in amazement at how our bodies house a little life for 9 months and that they know what to do if we can only be calm and present for experiences?What would happen if we let our partners see us, stretch marks, wabbly bits and all?What if, as men, we allowed our partners to worship our bodies, hairy backs, beer bellies and all?What if we were allowed to express gratitude for this amazing machine that does its best against all odds to keep us alive and happy?
There was a time, and there still are times, when I look at my own size 22 body and feel the shame of sitting in meditation with beautiful thin yoga bodies. There’s been times when I hear myself saying I have no right to be here and take up this space with “real” practitioners. These are the lies I’ve been told and tell myself daily; that real women have long hair and maybe don’t look as queer as me. But the truth is we are all looking out at the world worrying about other people judging us when other people are also looking out at other people judging them.
So, how do I start becoming more mindful of my body?If you’re still reading, you’re probably interested and I found a lot of practical exercises and resources on Dr Christopher Germer’s website. I found these exercises to be extremely helpful in my own journey, so here is your jumping off point into transforming your life and your view of your body.
Get Outside {Inspiration Session} ~ Winnipeg Boudoir Photography
Sometimes I like to take what's in my head and get it out in terms of photos and I am very lucky to have a Jill in my life to allow this to happen! The 2 of us took a little roadtrip out to one of our boudy babe's farm to do a little brainstorming and of course, take some epic shots! Miss T was gracious enough to let us frolic half naked around her yard, taking photos and eating her apples! We haven't confirmed ALL the details yet, but let's just say next year we are planning something epic that may rhyme with "MODY MOSITIVE METREAT". More to come on that later. In the meantime, here is an awesome session to get you inspired to take your own boudoir session outdoors to take advantage of what summer we have left! While I cannot guarantee goats, I promise you that wherever we go it will be private, gorgeous, and help you connect to your inner wild goddess. PS. did you see the sample album of this session? Scroll to the bottom for the video!
Summer In The City ~ Winnipeg Photography
I love surrounding myself with creative people, so when I get asked to do fun, out of the ordinary photoshoots, I don't hesitate! Well, my stylist Kelly (known as hairbymisskellyo on instagram) needed a photographer last minute for their summer themed shoot, so I cleared my schedule (a night of Netflix n' tacos) and zipped over to the pool location for this fun shoot! Also, props to Miss Kelly for being chosen as a finalist for the Color Shot of the Year from behindthechair.com (another project we worked on together!!!) Enjoy this fun summer series featuring hair and makeup by the talented babes at the Sapphire Hair Lounge!
She Became Proud Of the Woman She Was ~ Winnipeg Boudoir Photographer
Oh, beautiful Miss T! This lady's soul is just as beautiful as her sparkling, ocean-blue eyes! This has been her third experience in front of my lens and every time we shoot, I feel that we uncover another layer of this babe, getting her one step closer to recognizing her awesomeness. You can check out her first shoot here, second shoot here, and now her current one below. Even more awesome than the images, is the dissection of her feelings towards every boudoir experience she has had, so take a read below:
I have been blessed to have had three shoots with you now, but each shoot has been so different – physically and emotionally.
The first shoot I booked after working with a Health Coach, particularly in regards to self confidence and self esteem. After our six months together, she recommended that I continue working on myself by going outside of my comfort zone (VERY outside of my comfort zone) and book a shoot with you. I did and was so extremely nervous that I didn’t sleep for two nights before the shoot. I did not tell my husband what I was doing, which made “sneaking around” even more stressful! We did the shoot, and in all of Teri's professionalism, she made me comfortable and relaxed. When I received my book, I was very happy with the pictures, but honestly a little embarrassed that I had done that.
The second time was initiated by Teri when she asked me to be part of her New Year's photo shoot. I was truly honoured to be a part of that, but was unbelievably nervous as I was meeting and working with other unbelievably gorgeous ladies that I had admired on Teri's website. They were all professional, knew what they were doing, and were about 20 years younger than me! While I was getting my hair and makeup done, I was thinking of excuses I could make to escape the photo shoot! It ended up being tons of fun, but I continually felt like the odd one out (nothing to do with Teri at all – definitely all in my head!).
So here comes the third shoot. This was spurred on by Teri's Leap Day special – completely a spur of the moment decision on my part. I told my husband what I was going to do and it was really special to have the two of us involved in the prep – what type of pictures, outfits, etc. I was really excited to move forward with this shoot and ended up having an awesome day in the studio. I felt comfortable and confident that day, mostly thanks to Teri. When I received the link to my gallery, I was nervous. I didn’t know if I wanted to see the pictures, let alone have my husband look at them. It took a couple of days for me to get up the nerve to tell him that I had them and asked him if he wanted to see them. We sat down together and opened the link. The first few shots I felt myself being critical – noticing the rolls here and the wrinkles there. I felt embarrassed to have my husband seeing this and questioned myself on why I did it. But as the slideshow continued, my mindset started to change and I began remembering the actual photo shoot day. I found myself telling bits and pieces of our shoot, little things I remembered or things that we said. As the conversation continued and the slideshow kept going, I felt myself overcome by the feelings that I had on the shoot day. Fun, laughter, confidence, self esteem…………it was almost a surreal moment, as I felt that I was reliving that day. As we continued through the pictures, I started picking out positive things on the pictures and feeling proud and confident that THAT WAS ME! After the first look through, I had to leave the room to take a moment, as I was feeling quite overwhelmed. My husband went through the pictures again and flagged his favourites. When I came back and looked through again, my favourites were almost identical to his. He suggested that we should frame some and put them up in our bedroom. Amazingly I agreed………my first album is hidden in a drawer in our room so this is a HUGE step for me.
So again, Ms. Teri – you have brought me to another level in my journey to self-esteem and confidence………and you have given me the journey in photos…………where I can look back when I am not in a good place and remember how you helped me to feel on that day………..and where I can look back when I am in a good place and be proud of the woman that I am!
I believe that the women I meet are never by accident and there is a reason they come into my life or I, into theirs. Miss T is no exception and now that we have been through so much soul searching together (and even joined her and her family for dinner!), I feel as though we are more than just client-photographer. Miss T, Jill and I are working on something super exciting for the Boudy Babes in 2017 so stay tuned for that! And remember, your first boudoir session is really just the beginning to peeling away those layers.